


Some Like It Hot

by KSAcquatica



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Kirk in female body, M/M, Male Kirk eventually, Protective Spock, Reference to OTS episodes, Slight spin off on original series, Temporary Amnesia, femkirk, mainly fluff, slow building
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-02-09 14:43:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1986831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KSAcquatica/pseuds/KSAcquatica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim is turned into a woman. Jim has all of his memories but he has no memory of ever being a man. Fem!Kirk gives her First Officer longing stares and Spock becomes overprotective of her. But matters are complicated further when Jim recovers his memory. Slow Building. Spock/Fem!Kirk. Eventual Spock/Kirk.</p><p> </p><p>Cross-posted from FF.net</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Metamorphosis

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted from FF.net  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek.  
> Also, the title was taken from one of my favorite Marilyn Monroe movies.

"See Bones! I told you nothing would go wrong."

"Uh, Jim are you sure about that?"

"Of course I am! Look at me. Does it look like I am injured?"

"I am looking at you. That's why I am asking."

"What are you talking about?"

"Jim have you looked at yourself?"

"No, why?"

McCoy just sighed in response. Only Jim would find the way to get himself into this kind of trouble and not even realize it. How the hell was he going to fix this?

"Kid, look at your body."

Jim did and then looked up at Bones, " I still don't know what you are talking about."

"Dammit Jim! Don't get cocky with me! You're a damn girl!"

"Yeah... What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

Bones could only gape at his friend. Was Jim trying to pull his leg? How could he be taking this so well? Knowing Jim, he would either be freaking out about his condition or exploiting it. But he would NOT be so calm and neutral about this kind of situation.

"Bones!" McCoy snapped out of his thoughts to Jim standing in front of him. He-she had her hands on her hips and a very annoyed look her face. "I asked you a question."

Bones pulled out his tricorder and started taking some scans. Jim was clearly not pleased with Bones' actions and tried to push the tricorder away with her hand but McCoy stopped her as if it was second nature, which with Jim it actually was.

"Okay, I need you to tell me what happened down there."

"What? Bones what does that have to do with anything?"

"Just answer the question dammit! Or I'll lock you in sickbay for a week!"

Jim frowned. 'Good,' thought McCoy, 'Boy or girl...Jim hated sickbay either way.'

"Nothing much really. I just beamed down there alone, like they requested, and I talked to their leader. She seemed to be very interested in joining the Federation. Then after we were done talking, they escorted me back to the beam down point. That's it."

"So nothing unusual happened? They didn't give you anything to eat or drink?"

Jim hesitated slightly. "Well they did give me some water when I first arrived."

"Dammit Jim! How many times have I told you not to consume anything on missions without my approval!"

"Well you weren't there! And they said it was part of their tradition. What was I supposed to do? Risk offending them and screwing up the mission? Besides, I had no adverse reaction to the drink. So what's the big deal?"

"NO ADVERSE REACTION!?" Bones couldn't help but yell at Jim. It was clear that he-she wasn't taking the situation seriously. Jim stared at him, her blue eyes showing a mixture of shock and confusion. This made Bones reconsider...maybe the liquid had affected Jim's brain. He would need to run some tests to determine the cause of Jim's current state.

"Okay Jim. You are coming to sickbay with me. I need to run some tests."

"But..."

"No buts! I am the Chief Medical Officer and I am giving you an order."

Jim grumbled under her breath. "Fine. But no hypos!"

Bones rolled his eyes. Yup definitely Jim in there.

 

Once they were in sickbay, Bones was able to get a more detailed account on Jim's physical and mental state.

Physically, she was as healthy as a horse. Not a scratch on her. Bones couldn't deny that it was interesting to see what Jim looked like as a girl. She was slightly shorter and leaner but she had the same hair and eye colors. The only difference in her hair was that it now almost reached her hips.

It was when McCoy got to the psych evaluation that he noticed some discrepancies. Jim had all of the memories from when he was a man. But for whatever reason, he now believed he had always been a woman. Bones tried to find discrepancies in order to make Jim realize that there was no way he could have always been a girl. But his mind seemed to have created some logical explanation for every discrepancy.

_"What is your name?"_

_"Oh come on Bones. This is a waste of time!"_

_"Answer the damn question Jim or I am putting you on psychiatric hold for the next 72 hours!"_

_"Ugh. Fine. James Tiberius Kirk. Happy?"_

_Bones ignored her sassy tone. "Don't you think that's an odd name for a girl?"_

_"Come on Bones! We have had this discussion before!"_

_Bones glared at her but at the same time he made a note on his PADD about Jim having false memories._

_"My father chose my name before he died. My parents had thought I was going to be a boy. My mom decided to name me what my father wanted anyways. I don't mind it. A name is a name."_

_"What is your relationship with your mother?"_

_Jim's expression darkened a little. "We rarely talk."_

Then they got to Jim's academy days.

_"it was admiral Pike who convinced you to join Starfleet, correct?"_

_"Yes, I was working as a waitress at a local bar in Riverside. Cupcake tried to make a pass at me and I punched him in the face. Pike was both amused and impressed. When I told him my name, he dared me to join Starfleet. I didn't have anything holding me in Iowa, so I enlisted the very next day."_

_"You had a reputation for being 'loose' at the Academy?"_

_Jim's face turned into a frown. "How much longer do we need to do this?"_

_"Not much longer, now answer the question!"_

_"Fine. Yes people thought I was loose. But those were_ _**just** _ _rumors."_

_"Please explain."_

_Jim gave Bones an annoyed glare. In all honesty, Bones was very interested in seeing how Jim was going to reason her way around his/her playboy reputation._

_"I had a lot of friends who were guys, you included. A psychologist at the academy tried to convince me that I was looking for a father figure, but I think he was crazy. Anyways, I hung out with the guys a lot and everyone just incorrectly assumed that I must have been sleeping with them. Also my best friend was Galia, so that probably didn't help my image."_

During the interview, all of Jim's readings and brain waves were normal. At that point Bones was convinced of his friends delusion. Jim was 100% sure that he had always been a girl. He couldn't be lying; the scans would have picked up on that. Jim's mind had even fabricated memories to support that belief. The only thing he could do was to go along with Jim's delusion. At least until they were able to determine what had caused this and how to fix it. Bones knew they couldn't risk beaming someone down. For all they knew the same thing could happen to them if not something worse.

Bones knew they would have to get Starfleet involved, but he hated the thought of Jim being forced to step down.

So McCoy did what he knew had to be done first. He picked up his communicator and dialed the person he knew would be able to come up with a logical solution, even if he didn't agree with it.

"Spock here."

"Spock. Can you come down to sickbay. It's important."

"Does it involve the Captain?"

Bones rolled his eyes. "When doesn't it involve the Captain? Now get your ass down here you pointy eared bastard."

Brief pause. "I am on my way."

 


	2. Chapter 2

Spock walked into sickbay. "Doctor?"

Spock stopped when he caught sight of a blonde woman sitting on one of the biobeds. He had never encountered her before. He had studied all of the personnel files and he was sure she was not a member of the crew.

"Excuse me, madam . . ."

Jim turned and beamed at Spock before she let out a giggle, " _Madam,_  Mr. Spock?" Spock raised an eyebrow. Did he know this woman? Then he caught sight of her blue eyes. Spock's eyes widened.

He knew those blue eyes… and combined with that smile. No, it could not be possible.

While he was processing all of this, the woman never stopped smiling at him. After 10.254 seconds, she spoke up again.

"Don't tell me you are going to start calling me that now? How many times do I have to tell you? Call me Jim! Not Captain, and especially not madam! That sounds  _way_ too formal!" She teased.

As if right on cue, the Doctor stepped out of his office. He looked surprised to see Spock. "Dammit Spock! How did you get here so fast?"

Spock never looked away from Jim who was not looking at him intently, but still had traces of a smile on her face.

"You said that it was important and that it involved the Captain."

"Dammit, I wanted to talk to you before you came into sickbay. But I think it's safe to assume that you now understand why I called you down here."

"Honestly Doctor, I must admit I am slightly confused."

Jim cut in, "See Bones! There is nothing wrong with me! Now can I please get back to the bridge? I have a lot of reports I need to file."

"You are not leaving sickbay until I say so Jim! Spock may I see you in my office  _please_?"

Jim stood up, "But Bones!"

"Not another word out of you missy! And don't you dare try anything! I got a new set of hypos I have been dying to test out."

Jim pouted and flopped back on the bed. "This is malpractice Bones!"

McCoy ignored her led Spock into his office and closed the door behind him.

"Doctor, what has happened to the Captain?"

"I wish I knew. He came back from the planet's surface looking like that."

"The Captain seems to be handling his condition far better than what would be expected of an average human male."

"Yeah well, Jim has never been the average human male. And the only reason he is taking this so well is because he doesn't know about his condition."

"Doctor?

"He is under some sort of delusion. He thinks he has always been a girl."

"Fascinating."

"Dammit Spock! This is Jim. Not some damn science experiment!"

"Do not misunderstand me Doctor. I care about the Captain's well being. There are several drugs and potions throughout the galaxy that are capable of erasing memories. But the Captain's memories appear to be intact. I seems that only one fact was altered and made to wrap around all other memories. This may have been the work of a very powerful telepathic creature. Have you run tests on the Captain?"

"Of course I have you damn hobgoblin! She-he is physically healthy. Jim's new body is perfectly functional. It's only his mind that appears to be messed up. After looking over Jim's psych evaluation, I think it's best to go along with his delusion. It is so deep rooted that we may cause his psychological distress if we tell him that the life he believes he knows is a lie."

"I agree Doctor. We must find a way to deal with the psychological problem first. It would be unwise to turn the Captain back into a man while his mind still believes he is a woman. That would only cause further psychological damage."

"And how do you suggest we fix his brain?"

"We could take the Captain to New Vulcan to see one of the healers. But I cannot guarantee that they will be able to restore the Captain's mind."

"Dammit Spock! We are three months away from New Vulcan! Even at warp speed it would still take us two months to get there! What are we going to do with Jim during that time?"

"We must notify Starfleet. Perhaps they will be able to offer a better solution."

"Are you out of your Vulcan mind!? If we tell Starfleet they will take Jim's command away."

"Perhaps if we explain to them that the Captain managed to retain all of his memories despite his change in form…"

"Spock, he is convinced he was born a girl! His mind has even fabricated false memories to support this belief. If Starfleet finds out about this, not only will they take away his command, but they will also lock him in a damn psych ward. There has to be another way."

Spock remained quiet for a long time. Bones wanted to say something but he could tell by the look in the Vulcan's eyes, he was trying to come up with a plan. So the Doctor remained quiet, which was not easy for him especially with the frustrating Vulcan in the room. He decided to look around his office to pass the time. He was staring at a picture of Joanna when Spock finally spoke.

"We can contact Admiral Pike and inform him of the situation. We must also notify Starfleet about the Captains change of sex. They would become suspicious if the Captain failed to report to them during the duration of our trip to New Vulcan. It would perhaps be wise to keep the Captain's psychological files off the official record."

"Wait, are you suggesting we lie to Starfleet?"

"Vulcans do not lie. I am merely suggesting we exclude certain information that may not be pertinent for the report."

"You realize that is lying by omission right?"

The Vulcan remained silent.

Bones let out a chuckle, "man, I never thought I would say this, but I think Jim is rubbing off on you."

"The Captain has risked his life, job and reputation for my well being and that of the crew. It is only logical for me to feel obligated to do the same."

The Doctor gave Spock a skeptical look, "you can say it Spock. You  _care_  about Jim."

Before the Vulcan could respond, a loud tapping interrupted them. They turned to see Jim standing in front the office window.

"Are you guys done in there? I am hungry. Geez what does a girl have to do around here to get a cheeseburger?"

Bones shock his head, "Glad to see his taste in unhealthy food hasn't changed."

 

Spock had gone to the mess hall to get Jim a salad, much to Jim's displeasure, and brought it back to sickbay within minutes. Meanwhile, the Doctor had gone to the bridge to explain the situation to everyone.

Spock observed Jim while she ate her salad. He could not deny that these were most unusual circumstances. He could not help but draw comparisons between his Captain and the female form sitting in front of him. Her eyes were the same shape and color as her male counterpart and she exhibited many of the same postures and expressions. She was not as muscular in her female form but he could tell from her muscular structure that she was in great physical shape. His eyes darted to her mouth as she chewed on her salad. Her lips were thinner and they looked much softer . . .

"Take a picture, it will last longer." Jim said with a wink. Spock was suddenly aware of his surroundings and raised his eyebrow in response, which only caused Jim to laugh.

"It's just an expression Spock. Why are you looking at me so much today? Don't tell me Bones got to you too! Dammit, I told him, I am fine! I don't understand why he insists on keeping me in sickbay."

"The Doctor is concerned about your well being."

"Yeah, I know but sometimes I feel like he overreacts too much." Jim paused for a moment and then looked up at the Vulcan with her bright blue eyes. Spock couldn't help but notice how long Jim's eyelashes were. Had they always been this long? Spock discarded the question from his mind. It is illogical to have such thoughts.

"Spock… if something was wrong with me, you would tell me right?" All traces of teasing were gone from her voice. Spock could not help feel guilty, although such emotion was illogical. While the Captain's voice had changed to be several octaves higher, Spock could clearly make out the same concerned tone that filled the Captain's usual voice whenever he was concerned.

"Captain –"

"Jim, Spock! Call me Jim!"

"I am on duty Captain. It would not be proper for me to regard you in such a familiar way."

"Yeah well we are alone right now, so your don't have to worry about that kind of thing. And you still haven't answered my question." Jim was looking at her salad as she said this. She was trying to grab a tomato with her fork but the little sucker kept on evading her. Even when she tried to stab it, the fork failed to penetrate and it simply rolled away from her. Finally she just slammed the fork on the table and she pushed the salad as far away from her as possible. "Ugh! This is why I don't like salads."

She looked up at the Vulcan whose brown eyes showed signs that he was amused by her frustration.

"Don't laugh at me Spock!" The Vulcan opened his mouth to object but she cut him off by raising her finger, "and don't you dare gave me that crap about how Vulcans don't laugh. I can see that you're laughing from that look in your eyes." Jim shock her head, "next time you treat me to dinner, make sure it isn't green . . . wait no. Scratch that. I l _ike_ green, but I am not a huge fan of red."

"Captain, I do not see how colors are relevant in your food preferences."

Jim let out a sigh. "Yeah, I guess you wouldn't."

Spock raised his eyebrows and tilted his head in response but Jim just waved him off. "It's fine don't worry about it."

McCoy cleared his throat.

"Sorry to interrupt you two, but Spock you are needed on the bridge."

"Thank you, Doctor. I shall see you on the bridge Captain." Spock nodded curtly to the Captain and started towards the door.

"Spock wait!"

Spock turned, his face was stoic as ever but his eyes had widened slightly.

"Yes Captain?"

"Umm, I was wondering if you would like to stop by my chambers later? You know, to play chess?"

Spock's eyebrow raised a fraction of an inch but he quick nodded and said, "Of course Captain."

McCoy watched as Jim's features lit up and a . . .. was that a blush creeping up his-her face? McCoy shook his head. He needed a drink. He had enough crazy shit for one day.

Jim wore a satisfied look on her face as Spock walked out of sickbay. She turned to look at Bones who was grumbling to himself.

"Umm, hey Bones? Can I leave now?"

McCoy eyed Jim suspiciously.

"Sure kid. Just answer one question for me."

"Okay. What is it?"

"I was just wondering if you could explain to me what  _exactly_  is it that you  _like_ about the color green," said McCoy with his eyebrow raised.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Doctor McCoy was awoken the next morning by the sound of his communicator. He groaned as he stretched his arm toward his bedside table to blindly search for the device. Finally he felt the cold metal and grabbed it.

"McCoy here."

"BONES! Is this some kind of a joke?!"

The Doctor opened his eyes. He looked at his clock. 5:30 in the morning.

"Jim, this better be damn important."

"Where did you put all of my clothes?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, so it wasn't you who took all of my clothes and replaced them with man's clothes? Nothing fits!"

McCoy sat up. He had not considered this. Wait, Jim's clothes had fit her yesterday. Could it be because she had been wearing them when she had been transformed?

"What about the clothes you were wearing yesterday?"

"What about them?"

"Can't you wear those?"

"Bones! Those are dirty! Now give me back my clothes! Did you seriously have to steal all of my underwear too?!"

"Dammit Jim! I wouldn't go anywhere near your underwear! I didn't take your damn clothes!"

"Then who did? Besides me only three people have access to my room. You, Spock and Rand. I know Spock would never do anything as tasteless as this and Rand has no reason to steal my things. So that leaves you."

"Jim, why the hell would I go through the trouble of stealing your clothes?"

"I don't know! Revenge for my always being in sickbay?"

Bones groaned, "I don't know what to tell ya kid. Keep looking."

Without waiting for Jim to protest McCoy shut his communicator and got out of bed. He needed to speak to Spock.

McCoy banged on Spock's door. Wake up you damn hobgoblin.

After a few moments Spock opened his door and gave the doctor a curious look.

"Doctor? To what do I owe your visit?"

"Jim thinks someone stole all of her clothes."

"I fail to understand how this relates to your presence at such an early hour."

"Dammit Spock! We said we were going to go along with her delusion, but reality made no such agreement!"

Spock's eyes widened in realization, "the Captain's clothes and belongings correspond to his male physique and are therefore incompatible with his current form. Perhaps we could replicate come female clothing for the Captain and present the garments to her as her own. I shall ask Nyota for her assistance in this matter."

Bones nodded, "that sounds like a good plan. We can get Rand to put the clothing in Jim's room cause I am sure as hell not giving them to her myself. She already thinks I am the one responsible."

"Why would the Cap-" Spock was cut off by the sound of movement coming from the bathroom.

"Spock? Are you awake?" Both men froze at the sound of Jim's voice. "Spock, have you seen my hairbrush?"

"Doctor I believe we will have to resume our conversation at a later point."

Another shout came from the bathroom. "Spock I am coming in, so you better be decent!"

"Please excuse me Doctor." Spock quickly said as he shut the door.

McCoy was left standing in the deserted hallway reflecting on what just happened. He and Spock had been reduced to sneaking around behind Jim's back. What was worse, McCoy and Spock had somehow become accomplishes in a plan that involved keeping the truth from Jim. Dammit. Jim is going to kill us when he gets back to normal!

"Spock! I can't find any of my things!" Jim came into his chambers through their shared bathroom. It now seemed inappropriate for him to share a bathroom with his Captain, but Jim was clearly not bothered by it. She was only wearing a standard Starfleet black undershirt that hung loosely on her body. Her long hair hung loose at her sides and looked slightly disheveled. Spock tried to ignore Jim's peculiar choice in clothing but he could not deny he found it distracting.

Jim did not notice the Vulcan's discomfort and continued talking.

"By the way, why is the bathroom so messy? I mean I know you are a neat freak, so you couldn't have made that mess. I was sure I cleaned after myself yesterday . . . Oh! Please don't tell me I have always been a slob and just now realized it!" Jim's eyes widened in horror at the thought and she ran her hands through her hair. Something Jim always did when he was nervous.

Spock could only stare at the woman in front of him. The honest answer would be "yes Jim, you have always been a 'slob' and I have always cleaned up after you." But Spock felt like that answer would only cause the Captain emotional distress. So he decided to ignore the question.

"Captain, I would be happy to assist you in locating your belongings."

"Thanks Spock." Jim gave him a soft smile. "I feel like I should have noticed last night but I was to preoccupied with all the stares I got from the crew yesterday. But anyways, my first clue should have been when I couldn't find my pajamas. I thought I had just misplaced them but clearly that wasn't the case. I mean, all I had to sleep in were –"

Jim stopped mid sentence as she realized she was standing in front of her First Officer in nothing but a T-shirt and underwear. A warm blushed started to creep up her face.

"Umm, you know what. It's fine! You don't have to do that. I'll ask Rand later. I'll see you on the bridge." Jim practically ran out of the room before Spock could even respond.

Spock stared after her, 'fascinating.'


	4. Chapter 4

Spock calling to ask her for a favor had awaked Uhura that morning. Waking up early to replicate clothing was not exactly what constituted a good start to the day in Uhura's mind. But if it was to help the Captain, she was more than willing to sacrifice a few hours of sleep.

Jim had been wearing his usual gold shirt and black pants the day before. But dresses were also considered to be standard uniform for women. Unsure of which style Jim would prefer, she decided to replicate a few pairs of both. Once she was done, she decided to help Rand carry the clothes back to the Captain's quarters.

Rand almost ran into Spock as he was walking out of his quarters. After regarding Rand's apologies as illogical, Spock nodded a greeting to Uhura.

Uhura handed the rest of Jim's clothes to Rand. She walked over to her boyfriend and gave him a peck on the lips.

"I did the best that I could. I don't know what Captain's size is, so I made a rough estimate."

"Thank you Nyota. I appreciate your assistance in this matter."

"It's no problem. Do you know how long the Captain is going to be like this? I mean, I am not gonna lie, this is really weird."

"I find that I agree with you. I too find this situation to be unusual." Said Spock as they boarded the turbolift.

"Is he going to be alright? I mean, there is a way to get him back to normal right?"

"Yes, I believe that if we can take him to New Vulcan the healers may be able to do something for the Captain. I am just waiting for Starfleet to approve my request."

"Good! I hope they do. I have noticed that many of the male members of the crew have taken a particular interest in the Captain's new body. I am starting to get concerned. I mean, they do realize that it's still their Captain right?"

Leave it to Jim to be hot as both a man and a woman. Uhura thought to herself with a smile.

Spock raised his eyebrows but made no comment on the matter. Uhura just figured he didn't want to engage in any of the ships gossip.

They reached the bridge and both went to their stations. Starfleet had requested they investigate the atmospheric conditions of Gamma Trianguli VI. A planet where the Federation was considering starting a colony if the planet proved habitable. She informed Spock of this and Spock was in the middle of plotting the course when she heard,

"Captain on the bridge!"

Uhura turned around and couldn't help but gap when she saw Jim. She had clearly made a miscalculation in the Captain's measurements. There stood Jim, gone was the messy hair from the day before and so were the shirt and pants. In their place was a long ponytail that resembled Uhura's and a tight gold dress that barely reached her thighs. Jim was wearing black tights to make up for that fact and black high-heeled boots. Even as a woman, Jim was a few inches taller than Uhura. Something she had forgot to consider when she was replicating the clothing.

There was a collective intake of breath and several things seemed to happen at once. Uhura heard a loud snap behind her but before she could turn around, her attention was brought to the front of the bridge where a young ensign had dropped the PADD he had been trying to get one of the officers to sign off on. As if that wasn't enough, Sulu had spit out the coffee he had been in the middle of drinking when the Captain had stepped on the bridge. Chekov had been standing next to Sulu and the poor ensign only had a second to react to the captain's appearance before he had found himself covered in coffee. Uhura couldn't deny that Jim looked hot and clearly the male staff had noticed.

Uhura turned to look at Spock seeking some sort of confirmation that she wasn't hallucinating. But Spock didn't even glance in her direction when she turned to look at him. He was giving the Captain a very intense look. To anyone else who saw him, Spock might have looked as stoic as ever. But Uhura knew better. Spock was trying really hard to keep a straight face.

Spock?

Before Uhura could process this new development, Jim broke the pregnant silence. She walked to the front of the bridge apparently unaffected by the stares she was getting from everyone. She kept her face and stride strictly professional.

"Are you unwell Mr. Sulu?" Jim wore a hard look on her face but her tone was both polite and professional.

"Umm, no Captain." Sulu staggered for words, "I... Forgive me. I don't know what came over me."

Jim nodded at her lieutenant "Well I am glad you are alright lieutenant. I will however ask you to show more restraint in your reactions in the future."

She then turned to Chekov before Sulu could respond, "Mr. Chekov, you may call in your replacement to cover for you while you clean yourself up."

"Ah, yes Keptin. Thank yew."

Jim then walked around their workstation and approached the ensign who had dropped the PADD. She gave him a smile and picked up the PADD and handed it to him.

"Th-thank you, Captain."

Jim nodded and without another word she walked to her chair and sat down. Everyone went back to work immediately, trying to ignore the tension in the room.

"Uhura."

"Yes Captain?"

Uhura turned to face the Captain, who was giving her a calm look. Uhura immediately felt relieved although she knew Jim would not have any quarrel with her.

"Do we have any word from Starfleet?"

"Yes Captain. They have asked us to travel to Gamma Trianguli VI and survey the planets atmospheric conditions. I have already given Spock the coordinates."

"Very well, thank you Lieutenant." Jim gave her a small smile.

"Mr. Spock, have you plotted a course to Gamma Trianguli VI"

"Yes Captain. We should arrive at Gamma Trianguli VI within twelve hours."

"Excellent. Thank you Commander. Please notify Dr. Marcus so that she will be ready to accompany us to the planets surface."

"Yes Captain." Spock turned back to his work station and Jim turned his chair to face forward.

By this point, Rand had arrived on the bridge and she handed Jim her PADD. Jim began doing paperwork while everyone around her tried not to stare at her. Uhura couldn't help but feel bad for Jim. The crew was putting no effort into being discrete about this whole situation. Jim was probably feeling like she had done something wrong.

Oh great. I am thinking of Jim as a she now.

She heard a small clatter, like an object falling on the floor. She looked around her station to see if she had dropped anything and caught sight of a broken stylus lying on the floor next to Spock. She only caught a glimpse of it because Spock was quick to pick it up. Then it clicked, the snap from earlier.

She looked over at her boyfriend. Why is he always so affected when it comes to Jim?

 

* * *

 

After two hours of doing paperwork, Jim got up from her chair.

"Spock. You have the conn."

"Captain?"

"I have to go see Bones. I wont be long. Page me if you need anything."

She gave Spock one of her classic Jim Kirk smiles, to which Spock responded to by raising both eyebrows, and made her way to sickbay.

McCoy was patching up an engineer's cut arm when Jim burst into the medical bay.

"Bones! Where the hell are you?"

Besides the clothing incident earlier that morning, McCoy had been having a calm day. He knew it was to good to last. He called Chapel to finish treating the engineer and walked to the front of sickbay where Jim was.

"Dammit Jim! What the hell is it now? I already told you I didn't steal your damn clothes!"

"What the hell did you tell the crew on the bridge?"

"What?"

Jim gave an exasperated sigh, "my crew has been walking on eggshells around me and giving me weird looks. And it all started after you talked to them! So tell me what the hell it is you told them!"

"Kid, are you sure you aren't just imagining things?"

"Bones, the entire bridge froze at the sight of me this morning."

"Maybe it has to do with what you are wearing?" McCoy raised an eyebrow, "why don't you wear something more like what you had on yesterday?"

"You know I only wear that on missions. I bet you anything that a man designed the uniform for female officers. How the hell am I supposed to avoid getting shot at when I am wearing heels and a dress? And besides, this is what I always wear on the bridge, it's standard uniform! Granted, I think Rand might have shrunk my dress in the wash. But no one gave me weird looks before!"

McCoy shook his head, "oh kid, you really are something. And these uniforms were designed for normal officers that don't find a way to get shot at all the time or to get themselves injured even while gathering flora samples!"

Jim frowned, "How was I supposed to know those plants were carnivorous? And don't change the subject on me! You are going to fix this. I don't care what you have to do! Just fix it!" Jim turned on her heel and started to walk out of medbay.

McCoy sighed, "Where are you going Jim?"

"To find a longer dress!" She yelled as she walked out of the medbay doors.

 

* * *

 

"I am sorry Admiral but I do not understand."

Spock had informed Starfleet of Captain Kirk's incident, while conveniently leaving out his mental state, and Admiral Pike was currently on the screen briefing Spock on what Starfleet had decided to do about Jim.

"Spock, like you said, Jim is a woman. That kind of thing doesn't happen everyday. It is possible to turn a man into a woman, but there are many methods used throughout the galaxy and not all of them are safe."

"The Doctor would have detected if the Captain was in any danger."

"A Starfleet vessel isn't as equipped as the Starfleet labs and medical centers, Mr. Spock. I think you can agree with that."

"I believe taking the Captain to a medical facility will only cause him greater psychological distress. Therefore it would be illogical to do so. "

"Spock, I know you are thinking of Jim. I care about him too. He is like a son to me. The admirals have no knowledge of his current mental state. They only want to make sure he is physically well. So the Enterprise has been ordered to come home after its next mission. Jim hasn't been taken off command yet but just make sure Jim doesn't get himself, or should I say herself, into any trouble. "

"I understand Admiral. I shall ensure the Captain's safety and inform both him and the Doctor of our new course following our mission."

"Thank you, Spock."

"Of course Admiral."

The admiral ended the transmission. Spock stared at the black screen and knew he would have to make a choice.


	5. Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> References to TOS episode "The Apple"

Jim was standing on the transporter the following morning. She was now wearing her gold shirt and pants and was waiting for Bones and Carol to arrive. She had a talk with Rand earlier about her uniform and Rand promised to look into what happened to her dresses, because it turned out all of them shrunk!

Scotty was fixing the coordinates to beam them down and Spock was standing stiffly next to her. She sighed, 'might as well get this over with'.

"Hey Spock?"

"Captain?"

"Listen, I am sorry about yesterday morning. You must have thought I was insane when I ran into our bathroom like that."

"On the contrary, Captain. I believe it an excellent demonstration of your flight response."

Huh? Jim couldn't tell if Spock was serious or if he was joking. She glanced sideways to look at him. He was facing forward but she could swear there were light traces of a smirk in his lips. He's actually joking! Jim could not help but smile.

"Very funny Spock! But seriously, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I really didn't notice what I was wearing. I would never…I know you are with Uhura. Ugh! This is coming out all wrong!"

"Captain, your apology is unnecessary. It was clear that you were distracted. I do not fault you for your actions. Nor do I judge you for them." Spock sounded very sincere when he said this, which made Jim feel a whole lot better.

"Thanks Spock. So... were good?"

"Yes Captain, 'we are good'."

Jim couldn't contain her smile. "Okay good! I didn't want things to get awkward between us."

"'Awkward', Captain?"

"Yeah. You know... you avoiding me and not talking to me..."

"That would be highly unlikely Captain. You are in command of this vessel and my duties require me to constantly have some form of contact with you."

Jim gently slapped Spock on the shoulder, "You know what I mean!" She teased.

Then she noticed that Spock seemed to stiffen even more after her touch. Maybe she had overstepped her boundaries? But she's playfully slapped him on the arm before and he never seemed to mind. Okay, he minded, but he never protested or reacted in a negative matter.

"Sp-"

"There is something I must speak to you about, Captain."

Jim was taken aback by the sudden change in topic but went along with it.

"Uhh, sure. What is it, Spock?

"I must inform you of the new orders we have received from Starfleet."

"Oh, you got them too, huh?"

"Captain?" Spock tried to hide the surprised tone in his voice.

"Yeah, are you talking about the ones where they want us to report back to Earth? Spock nodded.

"But when they say us, they really mean me." Jim frowned. "They want me to report to the Academy for a physical exam. And they emphasized that Bones couldn't perform it. Why the hell would they interrupt our five year mission for a physical?"

Jim looked over at Spock but the Vulcan was avoiding her gaze. She had hoped he would give her some sort of "logical" explanation. Or even a comment on how her reaction was illogical. But instead he only stared at the wall in silence. This only made Jim feel worse. Was Spock hiding something from her? No, he couldn't be. Then what was happening? Wait, could it be...?

"Spock?" He still didn't respond but Jim kept on going, "do you think this has to do with the whole Khan thing?"

To her surprise, Spock turned to look at her. His expression somewhat softened.

"What would make you come to that conclusion, Captain?"

"Well, what else could it be? We know his blood is capable of bringing the dead back to life. Who knows what else it's capable of! Starfleet is probably worried I am going to turn into a homocidal manic!" Jim's eyes then filled with panic, "Spock... what if the blood really did something to me? What if starfleet locks me up?" She looked down, she didn't want Spock to see her so compromised.

"Captain," Spock's voice was soft. "I assure you that I will never permit such a thing to happen."

Jim looked up at the Vulcan. His face neutral but his eyes were warm.

"Spock, I -"

As if on cue, McCoy walked into the transporter room with Carol in tow.

"Sorry we're late guys! The Doctor here was having a hard time deciding which hypos he should take."

"Well, with Jim going down to the planet's surface... I might as well take the entire sickbay with me!"

"Ha Ha. Very funny Bones. I am not in sickbay that often!"

"I approximate that 97.891 percent of missions end with you visiting the medical bay, Captain."

"NOT helping, Spock!"

"See Jim! Even the hobgoblin agrees with me."

"I don't understand why the two of you don't want me to beam down. I'll be fine! We'll all be fine!"

Jim was staring forward at Scotty and missed the nervous glance McCoy gave to Spock and Carol.

"Okay Scotty! Beam us down."

"Aye Captain!"

The four figures were engulfed by the yellow beams and then materialized on the planet's surface moments later. The planet was like one large tropical jungle. But unlike the jungle's found on Earth, this planet had very little humidity. It's temperatures were constant throughout the planet, with little to no variation at the poles. The sky was a mixture of red and orange. As if it was stuck in the middle of an eternal of a sunset. To Jim it appeared to be a tropical paradise, it almost seemed impossible that such a beautiful place could exist.

"Well... I might just stake out a claim and settle down here Jim."

Jim threw her medical officer a skeptical look.

"Oh? Then who will heal me when I am hurt?" Teased Jim.

"Hmph. Maybe then you will learn to keep yourself out of trouble."

Jim laughed as Spock bent down and collected some soil samples. "The soil appears to be rich and fertile Captain. A colony would have little trouble sustaining itself."

Carol appeared from behind some bushes, holding some red and white colored flowers. "These flowers appear to be harmless and have no nutritional value. However, they are quite unique in their shape and texture. I figured Sulu would like to examine them."

"Very considerate of you Doctor Marcus," Jim said as he analyzed the flowers, "I think he will appreciate it very much."

Carol smiled as she gently put the flowers into her bag. She then proceeded to analyze a strange looking fruit that was hanging from a tree.

Jim walked around and looked at the vegetation. She was hardly an expert in botany but she could appreciate the uniqueness of the flowers. She picked up an orange and yellow flower that reminded her of a sunflower. She lifted it up to her nose to smell it.

"Dammit Jim!" yelled McCoy as he pulled the flower away from Jim's face. "You are allergic to your own allergy medicine and yet you willingly inhale alien pollen?"

Jim just waved off the Doctor's protests. "Come on Bones, you worry too much. I am not going to drop dead because of some flower."

She proceeded to place the flower on the Doctor's ear. "Aww. Bones! You look so pretty!"

"Dammit Jim! Will you take your job seriously for once!" Growled McCoy as he reached up to yank the flower out of his ear.

"You know I always take my job seriously Bones! But what is the harm in having a little fun? We are in paradise! Might as well enjoy it."

Spock was running scans on an interesting looking rock. He was trying to ignore the unsettling feeling he got when the Doctor's hands briefly brushed Jim's while he was trying to remove the flower from her person. He knew it was illogical to feel this way, and yet the feelings remained despite his efforts to push them away. Suddenly his scanner picked up something.

"Captain, there appears to be subsurface vibrations running throughout the entire planet."

Jim walked away from McCoy, who was still scowling, and went to stand closer to Spock.

"That's unusual. Can you tell me what is causing it?"

"No Captain. But it appears to be artificially produced.

"How can you tell Spock?"

"The vibration is strong and keeps a fairly regular rhythm. Were it a natural occurrence, it would show more variances in strength and frequency."

"Hmm, that would mean there is life on this planet. Something has to be producing these vibrations."

"Affirmative."

"Captain." Carol came back with a handful of thorns in her hand. "I found these lying on the ground. The scans showed that they are highly poisonous and lethal to most humanoid species."

"Do you think these come from some sort of plant Dr. Marcus?"

"I am not sure Captain. But I am sure I can give you an answer after scouting the area."

Bones took the thorns from Carol's hand and analyzed them. "Are we sure we want to scout the area for these things?"

"Doctor, if harnessed correctly, the toxins in these thorns could be effectively weaponized."

"Weaponized? We don't even know the first thing about these things! We could end up killing ourselves by attempting to collect them."

Spock was listening to the officers argue when a small movement caught his attention. He turned and saw that one of the plants was changing the position it was facing. He noticed that this plant had thorns similar to those in the Doctor's hand.

"Captain?" But Jim was too busy trying to mediate McCoy and Carol's argument and did not hear Spock.

Then Spock noticed that the plants new position placed it right in front of the Captain. Spock knew what was about to happen and before the Vulcan could even think he yelled.

"JIM!"

Jim turned slowly towards the sound of her name when she felt something smash into her. She felt a pair of arms wrap around her. One wrapped around her waist and the other around her head as she was falling backwards.

When they hit the ground, she barely felt it. The arms had prevented any harmful injuries she might have sustained when her body made contact with the ground.

Jim stared up at Spock in shock. What had just happened? But then she quickly realized something else. This was the closest she had ever been to him.

"Captain . . . the plant." Spock seemed to be struggling for words and his usually stoic face was filled with concern and worry. "Are you alright Captain?"

"Yes, Spock. Thank you." Jim said, slightly out of breath from the shock. She realized how intimate this must look as she stared up at the Vulcan's chocolate eyes.

Spock still had his arms tightly wrapped around the Captain. Jim's arms were pressed against Spock's chest. But Jim attempted to place her hand on Spock's shoulder to express her gratitude. She smiled up at him and she saw something flash across his eyes. In the back of her mind Jim knew that Spock should be letting her go, they were out of danger and she was not injured. But Spock kept holding on to her and Jim was not about to protest. She wasn't about to cut short what could end up being the only opportunity she would ever have to being this close to Spock. So they lay there for what was only seconds, but in Jim's mind it felt like hours. She could spend all of eternity lying in Spock's arms and staring into his chocolate eyes. Then, reality came calling.

"Dammit! Spock! Jim! Are you two alright?" Bones came rushing towards them with Carol closely behind him. It was then that Jim realized that they were five feet away from where they were originally standing.

Spock unwrapped his arms from Jim's body. He stood up and grabbed Jim's arms to help her up. He then placed his arms behind his back. When Jim looked at him she found that all traces of the emotion that had been in her first officers eyes only moments before, were long gone. Jim was snapped back to reality when a tricorder was shoved into her face.

"What the hell! Bones I am fine!"

McCoy ignored her protests and continued taking scans. Once he made sure that Jim wasn't about to drop dead, he turned to scan Spock.

"Dammit Spock! Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"I assure you Doctor that I intended to do no such thing. The Captain was distracted and it appeared unlikely that she would notice the threat in time. I only did what was logical in the given situation."

"Yeah, yeah. And I am sure holding on to Jim like that was also completely necessary." McCoy said with a smirk on his face.

"Doctor? I do not understand what you are implying." The Vulcan's expression revealed nothing.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it Spock. Now let me see your damn arms to make sure you aren't injured!"

Spock reluctantly extended his arms. Jim could see a small pool of green staining Spock's blue uniform near his right elbow.

"Spock wasn't hit was he?" the fear in Jim's voice was obvious.

"No. The damn hobgoblin just scraped himself while he was saving your ass Jim!"

"Don't call him that." Jim said in a low whisper as she approached Spock. Jim felt the need to reach out to Spock, but she didn't. She knew that it wouldn't be appropriate for her to do so.

But apparently Spock had a similar thought because he drew himself closer to her.

"Dammit Spock! How am I supposed to bandage you up if you move around!"

Spock ignored the Doctor and maintained his close proximity to Jim. Neither said anything, nor did they look at each other. But just knowing that the other was right there seemed to comfort them both.

"We are getting off this damn planet right now!"

No one argued with the Doctor's statement. Seeing no objection, the Doctor pulled out his communicator.

"McCoy to Enterprise."

"Aye Doctor?"

"Four to beam up Scotty."

"Aye, locking on to yer coordinates."

"Wait!" Jim called out before McCoy could give the final order.

McCoy turned to give Jim a questioning look but found her next to some flowers.

"Dammit Jim! Haven't you had enough run-ins with flowers for one day?!"

Jim ignored him and turned to Carol, "these flowers are safe right?"

Carol was just as confused as the Doctor but answered the Captain's question. "Yes Captain."

Ignoring the looks everyone was giving her, Jim bent down and plucked out a green flower that resembled a rose. She walked back to the beam up point and handed the flower to Spock.

"Thank you for saving my life." Jim could barely look at Spock as she said this. She could feel the stares she was getting from Bones and Carol and they were not helping the blush that had already formed on her face.

Spock was clearly taken aback, but nonetheless he took the flower, "you are welcome, Jim." The corners of his mouth lifted ever so slightly and the tips of his ears turned a light shade of green. The two of them just stood there for a moment, staring at one another.

McCoy was horrified by the sight that was unfolding in front of him. He turned to look at Carol and she too looked shocked.

He had been teasing Spock earlier, but this gave him cause for concern. McCoy could not deny that Jim was an attractive woman, but it was Jim! Spock knew this. McCoy couldn't even allow himself to consider the alternative. But the blushing Vulcan in front of him was not helping him keep his peace of mind.

"Uh, Jim? Can we beam up now or are you going to gather more flowers and give the hobgoblin a bouquet?"

Jim flushed, "No, we can go now."

McCoy pulled out his communicator, "okay Scotty. Beam us up."

Yellow beams engulfed them again. McCoy could never get used to these damn transporters. Thankfully the sensation did not last long and they found themselves standing in the transporter room within a few seconds. Jim was the first to walk off the transporter and greet Scotty.

"Thanks for the speedy beam up Scotty."

"No problem Captain. That's a pretty flower yeh got there Mr. Spock."

"Thank you, Mr. Scott." The tips of Spock's ears were a light shade of green again.

Now McCoy was worried. Spock would never reply to that kind of a comment in the way he just did. The hobgoblin would usually go on about how it was illogical to call a flower pretty or some crap like that. But he wouldn't acknowledge it!

The Doctor was pulled out of his thoughts when he saw that Spock and Jim were about to walk out of the transporter room.

"Oh no you don't! Where the hell do you two think your going?"

"To the bridge," Jim stated matter-of-factly.

"The hell you are! The two of you are going to sickbay!"

"Bones! You already said we were fine!"

"I said no such thing. Now march your asses down there!"

Jim groaned. "Come on Spock. Looks like we don't have a choice."

"You're damn right you don't!"

Spock followed Jim out of the room while still clutching his flower.

Uhura heard there had been an incident on the planet and rushed to see her boyfriend. She was heading to sickbay when she ran into Spock in the hallway.

"Spock! I heard you were injured! Are you alright? I was just headed toward sickbay to see you."

"I am fine Nyota. The Doctor examined me and released me as soon as he confirmed there was nothing wrong with my person. While your concern is appreciated it is entirely unnecessary."

"What about Jim?"

"The Captain is being assessed by the Doctor in sickbay."

Uhura scanned her boyfriend's body making sure he was all right. Seeing nothing but a bandage on his arm. She felt a wave of relief. She noticed that he was holding a green flower. 'Must be for a science experiment.' So she did not question Spock about it.

"What happened down there?"

"The Captain was almost shot by a poisonous plant while examining some flora. Fortunately, I was able to get her out of the way in time."

"Him."

"Pardon?"

"You said her. The Captain is a he, Spock."

Spock remained silent in front of her. His face was unreadable but Uhura noticed a certain darkness in his eyes that had not been there before. She then realized that she too had referred to Jim in the feminine the day before. Maybe she was being too harsh. She gave her boyfriend an apologetic look.

"I am sorry Spock, that sounded worse than I intended it too."

"It does not matter. If you will please excuse me, I must go meditate."

Uhura could only stare at Spock as he raced past her and headed toward his chambers. It wasn't abnormal for him to feel the need to meditate. But he usually waited until the end of the day. He was also never as fidgety as he had just been. Seeing as it was unlikely she would be able to speak to Spock until he was done mediating, she decided to head to sickbay to check on the Captain. She was about to walk in when she heard Dr. McCoy talking to Jim.

"Okay Jim. Now that the hobgoblin is gone, I need to ask you. What the hell was that?"

"What?" asked Jim with a tone of feigned ignorance.

"What was with giving Spock that flower? And don't think I didn't see you make eyes at the hobgoblin."

"What? No way! You must be imagining things." But Jim couldn't bring herself to look at Bones in the eyes.

"Jim. . ."

"I was just grateful! That's all! I mean, he threw himself in harm's way to protect me. Besides, he's with Uhura. I would never interfere with that!" Jim couldn't help but sound slightly sad as she said that last bit. She knew she could never do anything to hurt Uhura. Despite the rough times Uhura had given her at the Academy, they had actually become friends on this ship. But Jim couldn't deny what she felt for Spock.

"Yeah, I hope not Jim. And I hope you are telling the truth and you don't have a thing for the pointy-eared bastard!"

Jim blushed slightly, "no, of course I don't have a thing for him."

Even if I did... I would never act on it. Jim thought to herself. Ugh! This was the worst!

"Good. Now hold still so I can examine you!"

Jim continued to argue with Bones as he ran his tricorder over her. Both failed to notice that Uhura was standing outside the door of the medical bay and had heard their entire conversation.


	6. X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References to TOS episode Charlie X

"Hey Bones, do you think I would look cute with a pixie cut?" Jim took her hair out of the ponytail it was in (her hair had gotten messed up while Spock was trying to save her life) and let it flow down her back.

The Doctor raised his eyebrows, "Dammit Jim, I am a doctor not a hair stylist." Jim couldn't help but smirk at his response, "why are you even asking?"

"I am thinking of cutting my hair."

"What's wrong with the way it is now?"

"Nothing. I just feel like cutting it. It feels too long." Jim swung her feet over the side of the biobed as Bones was finishing up her examination. "Can I go now Bones? I am bored and I need to get back to the bridge."

"Kid, how is it that you can have a near death experience and still find it in you to be bored less than an hour later?"

"Oh you know me, I am awesome like that!" Jim said with a smile and threw a wink in the Doctor's direction.

"Yeah, more like a narcissistic masochist." The Doctor grumbled under his breath. "Okay, your vitals are fine. No infections or allergic reactions to any pollen or soil from the planets surface."

"See told you I was fine!"

"But I am not releasing you for duty yet."

"What? Why? You just gave Carol and Spock a shot and let them leave! I don't get why you are always hovering over me!"

"In case you don't remember Jim, you are allergic to everything. Besides, I didn't clear them for duty. I let them leave because I know they actually rest when I tell them to!"

"Yeah well, I think you are just out to get me! Are you this grumpy with Carol?"

"No kid. Only you bring out this side of me."

"Aw. I am flattered Bones!" Jim gazed at the Doctor and put her hand over her heart. Bones groaned which caused Jim to burst out laughing.

"That's so wrong Jim. Don't ever do that again." Jim just laughed harder.

"You know I was just kidding Bones. Relax! I don't go for older men."

Bones scowled and instinctively reached for a hypo while Jim laughed at his reaction. "Older men? Why I otta-"

"Doctor?"

McCoy turned and his back immediately straightened as he saw Carol walk into sickbay.

"Dr. Marcus." McCoy kept his tone professional but his features lit up at the sight of Carol. "What can I do for you?"

Jim tried not to snort, "Oh please, you two don't have to act all professional around me."

Bones glared at Jim but Carol acted like she hadn't said anything.

"I was just wondering if you would like to join me for dinner tonight?"

"Yes, of course. I just have somethings to finish up here."

"That's fine. I was actually thinking of heading to the gym and do some yoga."

"Sounds good. Just contact me when you are done."

"Of course Leonard." Carol leaned over to give McCoy a kiss on the cheek. Jim's grin was now spread from cheek to cheek.

"Captain, would you like to come with me? I could use a warm up partner."

Jim looked at McCoy who nodded in approval. "I would feel comfortable with you going with Carol. I know she won't let you do anything stupid. Just please don't find some crazy way to injure yourself!"

"I'll take good care of the Captain, Doctor."

"Great! Let's get out of here!" Jim jumped off the biobed and practically dragged Carol out of Sickbay. Jim had never tried doing yoga but she knew that it was a hell of a lot better than just sitting around sickbay! Once they were in the hallway, Jim let go of Carol's arm.

"Sorry for dragging you out. I was afraid Bones would change his mind and knock me out with a hypo."

Carol let out a small laugh and waved away her apology. "Don't worry about it. Do you want to go get your gym clothes."

"Yeah. Oh, actually... I don't think I have the proper yoga attire."

"Would you like to borrow some of mine."

"Yeah! Thanks! Oh hey, can we make a stop on the way to the gym?"

Carol looked are her questioningly, "sure, I don't see why not. Where do you want to go."

Jim just gave her a sly grin. "You'll see!"

Uhura blinked at the door in front of her. She didn't know how she got here. After overhearing the conversation Jim and the Doctor were having in sickbay, she had turned and walked as fast as she could in the opposite direction. She wasn't even aware she was heading to any specific place. But now she stood in front of her boyfriends door. She could just walk away. Ignore what had happened in sickbay and act like nothing was wrong. But she doesn't want to do that. She needs to talk to Spock. Finally she gets the nerve to ring the chime to Spock's quarters.

Spock opened the door and seemed surprised to see her.

"Nyota, I was not expecting you. I assumed you would be on the bridge."

"Yeah, I was on my way back. But I really need to talk to you. Is it okay if I come in?"

Spock stepped aside and gestured for her to come in.

She looked around his quarters and they looked as spotless as usual. All of his books and candles in their proper place. And then she saw it. On his desk was a single green rose, the one the Captain had given him. That was all Uhura needed to go through with what she wanted to say.

"Spock... I need you to be honest with me. I promise that I won't get upset, but I really need to know."

"What is it you wish to discuss Nyota?"

"What is going on between you and Jim?" Uhura blurted out before she could stop herself.

"You wish to question my relationship with the Captain?"

"Yes, Spock. I have noticed several things and lately the list just seems to be getting longer."

"I do not understand what you are referring to. I greatly respect and admire the Captain. I also consider the Captain to be my friend."

"Yes, I know that Spock." Uhura gave an exasperated sigh, "Jim is also my friend but I don't go around gazing at him when I think no one is looking."

"I do not gaze at-"

"Oh don't give me that Spock! You two have been gazing at one another none stop since he was turned into a woman! I just didn't recognize what it was at first!"

"I am merely attempting to look out for the Captains well-being."

"Ugh! Spock! I think I deserve the truth! Is the Captain's new body the reason you are drawn to him lately? You know he isn't going to be a woman forever! We are going to change him back into a man and it is 'illogical' to even think of him as a woman!"

"You are wrong to assume that my interest in the Captain has anything to do with his new body."

"Oh! So you are interested in him!"

"You misunderstand what I said."

"So you aren't telling me that you like Jim regardless of whether he is a woman or a man?"

"I have not stated that I have any romantic interest in the Captain."

"You didn't have to Spock." Uhura sighed. How is this even happening? Was she seriously losing her boyfriend to her womanizing Captain who lost part of his memory and was turned into a woman? This sounded like the story plot of some Orion soap opera!

"What I am saying Nyota, is that my regard for the Captain transcends the physical."

"Stop trying to find other words to describe what we both know you feel toward him!"

There was a pregnant pause between them. Uhura looked at the green flower and spoke up again.

"You have felt this way for a while haven't you?"

Spock remained silent for a long time. Trying to decide whether or not he should respond to her question for fear of hurting her. Finally he decided that she was right. She deserved to know the truth.

"I first noticed my attachment to the Captain while I watched him lose his life in the reactor core."

"Spock, if you felt this way... why did you stay with me?"

"Although my feelings for you have changed, I still care for you. I did not wish to harm you."

"Spock, you were harming me if you were staying with me without loving me."

Uhura shock her head and let out a very nervous laugh. "Oh, I should have seen this coming! The signs were always there!"

"Nyota? I do not comprehend what you are referring to."

"It was always Kirk! It always has been! It took me three months to get some emotional rise out of you! Kirk was able to do it on the first day he met you!"

"Nyota -"

"And that time you almost died... the only reason we had that emotional talk was because the Captain was there! As soon as I told you he was mad at you, you divulge your entire set of feelings!" Uhura was now pacing back and forth, trying to make sense of everything.

"Nyota, it was never my intention to cause you any emotional harm."

"I know. But...UGH! I should be mad! I should be furious! But I... I can't be. You didn't chose to fall in love with Kirk. And I actually care about Jim, he is like family and he died to save all of us! How can you hate someone who gave their life in an attempt to save yours?"

"Nyota." Spock reached towards Uhura but she backed away from his touch. "I... I need some space. I just need some time to process this."

"I understand. Please forgive me."

Uhura managed a small smile despite the tears building up in her eyes. "I know. Just... if Jim means that much to you... don't let him get away."

Uhura turned to walk out of his room when she stopped and remembered something. She wiped the tears from her eyes and turned to look at Spock once more.

"Starfleet sent us a new set of orders. I sent them to your PADD. Please notify the Captain for me." And with that she was out the door.

Spock tried calling the Captain on his communicator but he got no reply. The Vulcan ended up reaching half the ship for the Captain and it was only when a young ensign told him that the Captain was in the gym, that Spock was able to find her.

"Captain?"

Jim was standing on the matt with Carol. She was attempting to put her leg up in the air and Carol was helping her maintain her balance.

"Hey Spock! What's up?"

"Captain, given our recent experience, I believe it would be wise for you to rest."

"I am fine Spock. I don't need to rest."

"Captain..."

"Besides, Carol is teaching me yoga!"

"I was unaware of Dr. Marcus's interest in Yoga."

"Oh yes." Carol spoke up, "I find it quite relaxing."

Spock then noticed that Jim's ponytail was shorter than it had been that morning.

"You have cut your hair Captain?"

"Huh?" Jim's leg still did not want to go to the proper position. "Oh, yeah. I don't know, it just didn't feel like me anymore. I was too long. But even now it still feels long and it's only down to my shoulders. Weird huh?"

Spock raised his eyebrows "I do not see how hair length – "

"It's okay Spock. I know it's 'illogical'. Anyways, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Uhura?"

Spock tensed up at the mention of Uhura. "Lieutenant Uhura and I have terminated our romantic relationship."

"Wait, what?" Jim had been in the process of balancing herself with one foot in the air but upon hearing those words she completely lost her balance and collapsed on the matt, banging her head and elbow in the process. "Oww!"

"You need to work on your balance Jim." Jim turned her head to glare at Carol, "You don't say?" she sneered as she rubbed her head and tried to ignore the sting that came from her elbow.

"What do you mean you terminated your romantic relationship? What happened?" Jim tried to sound sympathetic but she couldn't deny that her insides were doing cartwheels.

"The Lieutenant and I agreed that we were no longer compatible."

"So it was a mutual break-up?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Oh. Well, I am glad to hear that."

Spock raised his eyebrow and Carol let out something that sounded like a snort. Jim then realized that what she said could be misinterpreted.

"OH! No! I don't mean I am glad you guys broke up!" Even though a part of her was glad and she felt terrible about it, "I am just glad it ended amicably."

Yes Jim, make a fool out of yourself. That is the perfect way to get a Vulcan to fall in love with you! She flushed as this thought went through her head. He had just gotten out of a relationship and already she wanted to pounce on him? Also, the two parties involved were her friends. No. She needed to give Spock some space.

"Do you require assistance getting up Captain?"

Jim came out of her thoughts and realized she was still lying on the matt.

"Umm... no Mr. Spock. I am quite alright, thanks."

Jim got up and swiped the non-existent dust off of her yoga pants.

"Umm, do you want to talk about it? I know you guys were pretty serious."

"While I appreciate the sentiment Captain, I do not feel the need to share my thoughts at this moment."

"Oh, okay. Yeah. Whatever makes you happy. Just let me know if you need anything."

"Actually Captain, I came down here to notify you of an incoming order from Starfleet."

"Oh, so you didn't come down here just to catch a glimpse of me wearing yoga pants?" Jim raised her eyebrows in a flirtatious but at the same time teasing way. Carol shook her head behind her.

"That would be highly illogical Captain. Especially given that I did not know what garments you would be wearing when I decided to come down here."

Jim chuckled and grinned up at Spock, "I was joking Spock. You know, to take the tension away."

Spock raised his eyebrows and Jim just shook her head and extended her hand, "okay, I'll be serious now. Let me see the orders."

Jim sat in the conference room the following morning with Spock and Bones. She was briefing them on the details of their next assignment.

"His name is Charlie Evans. He is seventeen years old. Apparently he is unique, the report doesn't really go into detail but Starfleet is interested in analyzing him."

"What's the kid's story?" asked Bones as he leaned forward to look at his PADD.

"He was orphaned at the age of three. He was the only survivor of a ship crash on the planet Thasus. Somehow he survived on his own all of those years."

"How does a three year old survive on Thasus?"

"I don't know, Bones. Maybe he depended on the wildlife?"

"There is no wildlife on that planet Captain, and very little vegetation."

Jim's communicator chirped and she reached out to grab it. "Kirk here."

"Aye Captain. I'm locked on to the lads coordinates."

"Great Scotty. We are on our way."

Jim closed her communicator and looked at the men sitting across from her. She slapped her hands together. "Okay, well... let's go greet our guest shall we?"

Jim stepped into the transporter room with Spock close behind her. Just as the yellow beams were beginning to clear out to reveal the Captain and First Officer of the cargo ship Antares and a teenage boy with light brown hair.

"Captain Ramard, I am Captain Kirk."

"Hello Captain Kirk." Ramard extended his hand to shake Jim's. "This is my navigator and of course our young castaway, Charlie Evans."

Jim greeted the navigator and turned to the young man.

"Hello Mr. Evans. Welcome to the Enterprise. I am Captain James Kirk. I trust that you will feel comfortable here."

Charlie did not respond as he stepped off of the transporter pad. He merely gaped at Jim. "You're a girl, aren't you?"

Jim was slightly taken aback by the question but chuckled nonetheless, "Yes Mr. Evans. Although I would prefer the term woman."

Charlie didn't seem to have registered her words as he continued to speak.

"I have never seen a girl before. You are beautiful." Charlie attempted to reach out and grab Jim's hands but Spock grabbed his wrists to stop him.

"I will kindly ask you to refrain from touching the Captain in such a familiar way."

"It's all right Mr. Spock." Jim chuckled, "I am sure Mr. Evans is just excited."

"He would be wise to contain his excitement," said Spock in a less than amused tone.

Charlie glared at Spock but then turned to the Captain. "Why do you call me Mr. Evans?"

Jim raised her eyebrows, "Well that is your name."

"My name is Charlie. I like to be called Charlie."

This time it was Spock who raised his eyebrows in response.

"Okay, we will be sure to call you Charlie from now on."

"How many humans like me are on this ship?"

Jim exchanged a look with Spock and Dr. McCoy before responding to the boys question.

"Uh, we have 428 crew members onboard Charlie."

"Hundredths! All human, like me."

Spock raised his eyebrows at Charlie and Jim tried to keep her face composed as she regarded the other ships Captain.

"Is there anything we can do for you? Do you require any provisions?"

"I'd like to see your ship now! All of it! The people and everything!"

"You keep interrupting Mr. Evans." Spock stated with a condescending tone. "That is considered to be rude."

Charlie looked taken aback and offended, but nonetheless he apologized for his actions.

"Are you sure you don't need anything?" Jim asked the Captain once more.

"No thank you. We are fine." The Captain extended his hand to shake Jim's once more. "Nice to meet you Captain Kirk. We must be going now."

"Nice to meet you as well Captain. Have a pleasant journey."

The two men disappeared from the transporter just as Rand stepped into the transporter room.

"You called for me Captain?"

"Yes, thank you for getting here so fast. Charlie this is Yeoman Rand, she will take you to your chambers. Rand, this is our newest guest Charlie. The Federation has asked us to take him back to headquarters with us."

"Nice to meet you Charlie." Rand gave Charlie a warm smile but he completely ignored her and turned to look at the Captain instead.

"Why can't you take me? I want you to take me!" Charlie actually demanded that last part, leaving Jim quite flabbergasted.

"The Captain has more pressing matters to deal with." Spock was eyeing the teenager with an unquestionable hostility.

"Yeoman Rand is a very nice woman Charlie. She will take good care of you. And unfortunately Mr. Spock is right, I am needed on the bridge."

The boy looked crestfallen, which made Jim feel guilty. She briefly considered shaking Charlie's hand in farewell. But after the reaction Spock had earlier when he had tried to touch her...Jim figured a polite nod would be best.

"Rand, could you also take Charlie down to sickbay later? Dr. McCoy wants to give him a check-up."

"Yes, of course Captain." The Yeoman looked slightly put off by Charlie's treatment toward her. Not that Jim could blame her.

"Thank you Yeoman. Well, I hope to see you around Charlie. If you need anything feel free to let any member of the crew know."

With that Jim turned to leave the transporter room and Spock followed closely behind. Once they were out in the hallway and out of ear reach, Jim confronted Spock.

"Okay Spock. What was that?"

"Captain?"

"What was up with your behavior in there?"

"I do not understand what you are referring to."

"Oh come on Spock! You were glaring at the poor kid the entire time."

"The adolescent is ill mannered and must be corrected."

"All teenagers are like that! Man, I could tell you so many crazy stories from when I-" Jim paused, for some reason she couldn't remember as many memories as she thought she could. She knew she had done some crazy things when she was younger. But there seemed to be some gaps...

"Captain? Are you feeling unwell."

Jim noticed that she had stopped walking and now Spock was eyeing her with concern.

"It's nothing. I just forgot the story I was going to tell you. It doesn't matter, let's head up to the bridge."

Jim turned away from Spock and started toward the turbo lift while Spock gave her a concerned stare. Jim could feel Spock's stare bearing into her back, it was making her feel even more self conscious. He better not tell Bones! The last thing I need is another trip down to sickbay.

She was going to have a serious talk with Spock.

After ignoring her communicator for a half an hour, doctor McCoy had shown up at the bridge to drag Jim down to sickbay for yet another check-up. After several threats, colorful statements and the unveiling of a very scary looking hypo, Jim found herself standing in sickbay for the second time that day. Jim might as well move in to sickbay, seeing as she practically lived there now.

"Hell Bones, people are going to start to talk. You just can't be without me can you?"

"Stop being so full of yourself Kid. Spock told me you were having some memory problems."

"Ugh! I told him it was nothing!" Dammit! She loved the Vulcan but he really needed to learn when to keep his mouth shut!

"Well you have a date with the Starfleet doctors and I want to make sure you are ready for it. Now sit on the damn bed!"

Jim reluctantly sat on the biobed. Bones had a point, if Starfleet found something wrong with her they might temporarily take her out of command.

Jim sighed, "Okay fine. I have been having some trouble remembering certain things. When I try to remember my childhood, I feel like there are giant gaps where memories should be."

"When did this start happening?"

Jim thought about it, "well, I just noticed it today actually."

The doctors face briefly turned into a frown before he shook it away. "Okay kid, I am going to take some quick scans. So sit still!"

Jim let Bones take the scans and tried not to squirm while she waited for him to tell her the results.

"Well, there appears to be nothing visibly wrong with your brain. But we both know you are mentally insane, and thats never shown up on the scans before..."

"Gee, thanks Bones. I am glad you are my friend."

"Don't be so touchy kid. Maybe you are just really distracted lately and that is why your memory is failing you. Try to take it easy. If you start forgetting anything more recent, I want you to get your ass down here and let me know."

"Yeah, yeah. Okay Bones. So I am free to go?"

"For now you are."

Jim got off of the biobed and practically ran out of sickbay before McCoy could change his mind and make her stay there all day. As soon as she was out the door, the doctor took out his communicator.

"McCoy to Spock."

"Yes Doctor?"

"The tests I did on Jim don't reveal that anything is physically wrong with him. However, that doesn't mean nothing is wrong with him."

"What course of action do you suggest Doctor?"

"Just keep an eye on Jim, will ya? With all the crazy things going on lately... I don't know what to make of this."

"Yes, Doctor. I shall do my best to ensure the Captain's well-being."

"Good! Oh and Spock?"

"Yes Doctor?"

"What is this I am hearing in the hallways about you and Lieutenant Uhura breaking up?"

"I am sorry Doctor, but I must return to my duties." And without another word, Spock hung up his communicator.

"Damn pointy-eared bastard!" McCoy muttered as he slammed his own communicator shut.


	7. Little Green Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References to TOS episode Charlie X

Jim was on her way back to the bridge when she heard someone call out her name.

"James!"

Jim turned at the sound of her name, no one on the ship ever called her James, and is met with Charlie beaming at her.

"Oh, hi Charlie. You can call me Jim."

That just made Charlie beam even more and he started to slowly repeat her name until finally she cut him off.

"Are you enjoying your stay on the Enterprise?"

"Yes, I like being around people! I like being able to touch others."

Jim was slightly confused by the boys statement. Surely he has been around other people before. He was transferred aboard from a cargo ship full of people. Charlie broke her thought process when he held up a single red rose.

"This is for you!"

"Oh. Wow. Umm, thanks Charlie." Jim took the rose and tried to hide the shock in her face. How did he get this flower? She knew that Sulu pretty much had an entire greenhouse in his quarters, but there is no way Charlie could have broken into his room. Was there?

"Where did you get this Charlie?"

"I made it for you."

Jim held the flower up to her nose. It smelled just like a real rose. Not one of those synthetic or replicated roses.

"But this is a real flower. How did you make this?"

"I can do many things. Do you like it?"

"Yeah... It's, very pretty Charlie."

Jim was starting to think there was more to Charlie than met the eye. She was also starting to get uncomfortable with his crush on her. She found it interesting how she had thought about the flower she gave Spock earlier, and how nice it would be if he gave her a single red rose. Just a simple fantasy. Shameful and illogical as Spock would say. But she couldn't help it when these thoughts came into her head out of nowhere. But now here she was, holding a red rose that was exactly like the one she had envisioned in her mind.

"I want to spend time with you." Charlie stated, interrupting her thoughts.

"Umm, well... I am on shift right now Charlie."

Charlie looked at her with a crestfallen face. Jim couldn't help feel guilty. The kid was probably feeling lonely.

"How about you meet me in the rec room later? A bunch of us get together after our shifts. You can make some new friends."

"Will I get to spend time with you?"

"Uh, yeah of course Charlie." Once again he beamed at her and she gave him a small smile.

"Where is Yeoman Rand?"

"Oh I left her. She isn't as interesting as you are. I wanted to explore the ship! I like being around people."

"Oh, well I am glad to hear that Charlie."  _Man this kid must have lacked some serious contact as a child._  "But you shouldn't have separated yourself from Yeoman Rand."

"Why not? I don't like her. She looks like all the other women I saw on this ship. She isn't pretty like you. None of the women look like you."

Okay. Now Jim was feeling even more uncomfortable. Was this 17-year-old seriously hitting on her?

"Umm, Charlie. I think you should go down to sickbay to have Doctor McCoy look at you."

"But, I want to explore more of the ship! Can I go to the bridge with you?"

"No, I am sorry Charlie. You are not authorized to be up there." Jim said and she was met with a pair of disappointed eyes.

"Captain!" Jim turned to the sound of Rands voice. She was rushing toward them. "I apologize. He just disappeared on me! One moment he is there, but the next he is gone!"

"That's alright Yeoman. Could you please make sure Charlie gets to sickbay? Dr. McCoy wanted to take a look at him."

"Yes, of course! I apologize again!"

Jim shook her head and patted Rand's shoulder. "Don't worry about it." She gave her a quick smile but then sternly added, "just... keep an eye on him."

"Yes, of course Captain!"

Jim watched as Rand ushered Charlie away. She turned and headed toward the turbolift. She was going to need help letting Charlie down gently.

* * *

Jim was sitting on the bridge looking over Charlie's file. It was extremely vague to the point that it seemed to be intentional.  _Well isn't that just great!_  Starfleet was on a role with their vague reports lately.

"Captain?"

Jim looked up and her eyes met with those chocolate-brown eyes she loved so much. "Yes Mr. Spock?"

"I was wondering if you would like to play a game chess later?"

"Of course Spock! You want a rematch already?" Jim smirked at the Vulcan.

"Your moves were highly illogical during our previous match."

"You just can't stand that I beat you!" Jim said with a gloating smile. It wasn't everyday that she could proudly say she was better than the Vulcan at something.

"If you are implying I am displeased, I would have to disagree. Displeasure is a human emotion-"

Jim chuckled, "it's okay Spock. I know you are incapable of human emotions." Jim had meant this to be sarcastic but she noticed that a flash of hurt briefly appeared on the Vulcan's eyes.

Huh? That was weird. Usually Spock disregarded her sarcastic comments, never taking notice or offense. Now she is concerned. Jim looked away from Spock as a wave of nervousness and embarrassment hit her. She didn't mean to offend the Vulcan. Crap! Now how was she going to fix whatever just happened?

"I shall meet you in the recreation room after our shift, Captain."

Jim blinked up at the Vulcan. "Uh... yeah. Sounds good!"

Huh. Maybe she just imagined it. She watched as the Vulcan walked back to his station. He stood behind his chair while reading his instruments. Her eyes naturally slid down to the Vulcan's ass. It was a very nice ass. She quickly tried to shake those thoughts away and focus on her PADD. But her eyes kept on creeping back to the Vulcan. She would only allow herself to stare for a few seconds so she wouldn't arouse any suspicion.

"Uh, Captain?"

Jim realized she had been in the process of staring at Spock for the 10th time in the last-minute. She tried to sound as casual as possible when she responded.

"Yes, Mr. Sulu?"

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, Sulu. Why do you ask?"

"Umm, you look...distracted today."

Sulu looked slightly uncomfortable as he said this and Jim tried her best not to flush. She had obviously been caught. Chekov was also staring up at her, but unlike Sulu, he looked positively pleased about something.

"Everything is fine. Please get back to work."

Without another word, the two men turned back to their stations and resumed working.

She was going to have to be more discreet when she was checking out Spock.

* * *

It was five minutes till their shift was over. Jim was filing the last of the paperwork on Charlie's transport when her communicator rang.

"Kirk here."

"Hi Captain, I have Charlie down on deck five, he is insisting on going up to see you on the bridge. I already told him that he cannot go up there but he doesn't listen."

Jim heard movement behind her and turned to find that Spock was already standing right next to her chair. "Captain, it would not be wise to allow Mr. Evans to come up to the bridge."

"Yes, I know Spock."

Jim placed the communicator close to her face, "did Charlie say why he wanted to come up here, Rand?"

There was a brief pause before the Yeoman responded, "Umm, he is saying something about a date, Captain."

Spock tensed up behind the Captain but Jim didn't notice because she was to busy cursing silently.

"Yeoman, would you be so kind as to go with Charlie to the rec room and stay with him until I arrive?"

"Yes Captain."

"Great. Thanks Rand. Kirk out."

Jim closed her communicator with more force than usual. The crush Charlie had on her had been cute at first, but now it was starting to really get on her nerves. She needed to put an end to all this.

"Captain, may I inquire whom Mr. Evan's believes he has a date with?"

Jim sighed,  _here we go._ "Me, Spock. But it's not really a date! I just said I would spend sometime with him in the rec room."

"Even after you had already agreed to partake a chess match with myself?"

"What? No!" Jim sighed, "the kid cornered me in the hallway. I kinda felt bad and I couldn't say no to him. But now I realize that I probably should have turned him down. He has a crush on me... and I might have given him false hopes."

"I see." Spock looked straight forward. Trying to gather his thoughts and come up with the logical course of action.

Jim looked up at the Vulcan. His face was as unreadable as ever, but Jim could have sworn she heard something different in his voice.

"I shall accompany you to the rec room, Captain. There we can determine the best way for you to turn down Mr. Evan's advances."

"Umm, thanks Spock."

"Thanks are illogical. I am merely fulfilling my duties as First Officer."

"Yeah, well I think this goes beyond the duties of a First Officer. I doubt that fending off admirers is listed in the manual."

"Mr. Evan's advances are causing you distress. I am merely trying to help you relieve it."

Jim grinned up at Spock, "whatever you say, Spock."

Once their shift was over, they headed over to the rec room. Spock remained close to her person during their entire walk.

When they entered the rec room, Jim quickly noticed that Charlie was surrounded by crew members, apparently he was showing them some magic tricks. Jim took the opportunity to sneak over to one of the side tables and set up the chess board with Spock. They were just about to begin playing when Charlie ran up to them.

"Jim! Do you want to play cards?"

"Umm, actually Charlie-"

"The Captain is currently partaking in a game of chess with me. I would appreciate it if you  _would be so kind_  as to not interrupt us." Spock didn't even bother to hide the bitterness in his voice.

 _Whoa! Was Spock jealous?_ Jim had, had her suspicions on the bridge, but this outburst of possessiveness seemed to confirm her original theory.

Charlie glared at Spock and his mouth turned into a pout. "Jim said she would spend sometime with me!" He turned to her and smiled like nothing was wrong, "here! Let me show you a magic trick!"

"I believe that the Captain has already indicated that she is currently occupied."

'I did no such thing.' Jim thought to herself. 'You did that for me!'

"But-" Charlie began to protest but Jim quickly cut him off.

"I am afraid Mr. Spock is right Charlie. We are about to play chess. I would be rude of me to leave Mr. Spock right now. Just like it is rude of you to expect me to do so."

Now Charlie frowned at Jim. "You like him better than me. Why? He doesn't love you like I do!"

Whoa! Wait... what? When did this become love? Jim shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she turned to look at Spock. The Vulcan was trying to remain unexpressive, but was clearly failing. His lips were twitching as he was trying to keep himself in check. Jim realized that Charlie was now glaring at her.

Oh, real smart Jim. Staring at the Vulcan is  _definitely_ going to calm the jealous teenager down.

"Charlie , I-"

But Spock immediately cut her off. "You will cease your infatuation with the Captain! She has not expressed any interest in your advances. So it is  _illogical_  for you to continue to pursue her."

"No!" yelled Charlie, getting the attention of everyone in the rec room. "I love her! I will have her!"

Spock stood up, "You will do no such thing!"

The human and Vulcan glared at one another. Neither willing to back down. Jim was still sitting down and she was horrified by the scene that had unfolded.

"Spock..." Jim reached out to grab the Vulcan's hand in an attempt to get him to step down. The last thing she needed was a fight. Especially if it was because of her.

The sight of Jim reaching toward Spock seemed to fuel Charlie's anger and without warning, he threw all of his weight toward the Vulcan. Spock was able to stop him and push him away without any real effort. This only made Charlie furious.

Charlie tried to throw himself at Spock again, but two security guards that had been socializing a few tables away, grabbed him before he could attack.

As he was struggling to break free, Charlie's eyes drifted to the chess set on the table. His eyes flew to the back of his head. Jim was still registering this strange sight when she felt a very sharp pain in her hand. She let out a yell as she dropped a black chess piece she had forgotten she was holding.

"Jim!" Spock and Charlie yelled her name at the same time.

Jim held up her hand to inspect it, trying to hold back the tears. Half of the skin on her palm and fingers had been burned. Blisters were already beginning to appear. Spock was immediately at her side. He turned to the security guards and ordered them to take Charlie down to the brig until they could go down and talk to him.

Charlie struggled against the guards, refusing to leave. But through her sharp intakes of breath, Jim was able to order Charlie to go with the guards. Finally, Charlie complied and was taken away without further resistance.

She heard Spock suggest they go to sickbay right away. She merely nodded and let the Vulcan guide her out of the rec room. If she wasn't in so much pain right now, she might have been able to enjoy the feel of the Vulcan's hand against her lower back.

Before they walked out of the door, she turned around and saw that all of the chess board pieces had been completely melted.

* * *

Spock escorted Jim to the medical bay, where the Doctor was not pleased to see them.

"Dammit Jim! One day! One day in which you don't come in here injured! Is that too much to ask for?"

"Oh, you know me Bones. I just can't stay away."

Jim tried to throw the Doctor a smile, but it came out as a grimace.

McCoy sighed. "Okay kid, what is it this time?"

"The Captain has suffered severe burns on her left hand."

"Alright, let me see."

Jim held out her hand to McCoy. When the Doctor's hand touched hers a low growl was emitted from the Vulcan's mouth.

"You okay there Spock?" The Doctor asked, with a concerned and confused tone in his voice.

"Yes, Doctor. Forgive me." Spock responded in a completely composed voice.

McCoy just shook his head and proceeded to examine Jim's hand. "Looks like a second-degree burn. Nothing a thermal regenerator can't fix. What the hell were you doing this time?"

"Nothing! That's the thing! The damn chess piece randomly melted in my hand!"

McCoy eyed Jim suspiciously and took out his tricorder to examine Jim's head. "Patient is showing signs of delusion..." McCoy said as he was jotting things down on his PADD

"Dammit Bones! I am serious!"

"I am afraid the Captain is correct in her statement."

Now the Doctor stared at both of them. "What the hell? Chess pieces don't just melt."

Spock raised his eyebrow, "I am aware of that fact, Doctor. Which makes this case much more concerning."

"Hmm.." McCoy remained silent as he ran the thermal regenerator over Jim's hand. They all fell into a silence, until finally Jim spoke up.

"Spock... why did you defend me like that? I could have turned him down myself you know."

"I do not doubt that Captain."

"Then why did you have to go and cause a scene in front of the entire crew? Just think of the rumors that are going to start up because of this!"

"It was not my intention to cause you an trouble, Captain."

"Jim. We are off-duty so it's Jim. And you just defended my honor so..."

McCoy interrupted their conversation. "Alright Jim, you are all set!"

Jim looked at her bandaged hand, she had not even felt when the Doctor put the bandage on her.

"You may feel some slight discomfort in your hand, but you will be able to use it like normal."

"Thanks Bones!"

"Now, I want you to go rest before your next shift. You need it."

"Ugh, yes dad!" Bones frowned and Jim just laughed as she got off the biobed. Spock moved to follow the Captain out of sickbay but McCoy stopped him.

"Hey Spock, could you hold back for a bit. I need to speak to you about something."

Jim stared at Spock and the Doctor before finally shrugging and saying, "Okay, I guess I'll see you later Spock."

"Of course Captain."

As soon as Jim was out the door, McCoy rounded on the Vulcan.

"Okay, what the hell is going on between you and Jim."

"I do not understand what you are referring to Doctor."

"I keep hearing things in the hallways! Did you know that over 80% of this ship is convinced that you two are sleeping together!?"

Spock frowned, "Those reports are inaccurate."

"That's not the point! You have been acting especially cozy with Jim lately! Spock, Jim may look like a woman...but he is a man! I hope you remember this!"

"I am well aware of the Captain's true sex Doctor."

"Well I don't think you are! You break up with your girlfriend and then act all possessive over Jim! I am not stupid Spock!"

"What is your concern Doctor?" asked Spock, keeping his face as expressionless as possible, trying to hide his irritation.

"Well, I couldn't help but notice this all started when Jim became a woman."

Spock closed his eyes. He had just had this conversation with Nyota and he preferred not to discuss such personal things with the Doctor. Finally, he decided he would answer the Doctor's concern without revealing any personal details.

"Doctor, I understand your concern. But I assure you that my behavior toward the Captain has nothing to do with his new sex."

"So you aren't just acting like this because you like girlJim?"

"No Doctor. Now, if you will please excuse me. I must return to the bridge."

McCoy watched as Spock walked out of sickbay. Had Spock just confessed to also liking Jim as a man? Ugh! He needed a drink!

* * *

After leaving sickbay, Jim headed back to her quarters. Her shift wasn't for another five hours. She could use the sleep. She took off gold command shirt and just let herself fall onto the bed. Her mind flashed through all of the days events. She thought about Charlie, and what she was going to do about the boy. Then she thought about Spock. In fact, she mainly thought about Spock. The way he acted today, how he had reacted when Charlie tried to flirt with her. Did this mean she actually had a chance with the Vulcan? She thought about this until she finally drifted off to sleep.

"Jim! Answer me dammit!"

Jim's eyes flashed open as she sat up. She looked at the clock, she had been asleep for less than an hour. Well that was better than nothing. She reached over to her drawer and grabbed her communicator.

"What is it Bones?"

"Where the hell are you? It is a madhouse down here!"

"What? What's going on?"

"I have an engineer, whose vocal chords have disappeared! Two lieutenants without faces! Three ensigns were found frozen in place in one of the hallways... and a lizard who bares a remarkable resemblance to Yeoman Rand!"

"What?"  _How can a lizard resemble anyone?_  "What kind of prank is this?"

Jim heard shuffling and movement in the background before the Doctor responded, "I wish it were a prank kid! I think we need to put the ship on lockdown until we find out who or what is causing this!"

Jim was out of her bed and putting on her gold uniform over her black undershirt. "Bones, contact the bridge and tell them everything you just told me. I will be right there!" She shut off her communicator as she got the rest of her things together.

Jim quickly threw on her shoes and opened her door, only to find Charlie standing there.

"Charlie?" Jim's eyes went wide. "How did you get out of the brig?"

"I told you. I can do many things." His eyes were different now, they were filled with pure lust. Jim tried to shut the door but he did that weird thing with his eyes and the controller disappeared. She took out her phaser, but like with the controller, it also disappeared.

Jim could only back away as Charlie stepped into her room.

Jim retreated to the back wall of her quarters and placed her hands behind her back feeling the wall for the button she so desperately needed. Finally she felt it and pressed it just as Charlie began to speak.

* * *

Spock stepped into sickbay and was immediately met with the chaos and panic in the room.

"Doctor!"

McCoy turned as he was examining one of the faceless lieutenants. "Dammit Spock! Now is not a good time! I just got the lieutenants stabilized! Had to cut a hole in their throats to let in the oxygen. I am having to resort to primitive medical practices!"

"Doctor, do you know what is causing this."

"I don't know for sure, but I have a theory!" McCoy was still running his tricorder over the lieutenant.

"I would be interested in hearing your theory Doctor."

"Well you know how I checked out that kid, Charlie? Well there were some discrepancies and when I ran the test again... more specifically, I discovered that Charlie is not an ordinary boy."

"What do you mean Doctor?"

"It appears that Charlie is a Thasian."

Spock raised his eyebrow, "that is impossible Doctor. The boy is clearly human."

"Yeah, that's what is throwing me off too. But if he were a Thasian, that would explain all of this!"

Spock was about to respond when he was cut off.

_"Why don't you look at me the way you look at him?"_

Spock and McCoy were suddenly taken aback by the sound of Charlie's voice on the intercom system.

_"Charlie, what are you talking about?"_

Spock froze at the sound of Jim's voice and immediately proceeded to run out of sickbay with Dr. McCoy yelling after him.

McCoy looked around the sickbay _. Dammit!_ If Charlie was causing this then Jim was in serious danger.

"Chapel! You're in charge!" yelled the Doctor and ran out the door chasing after Spock.

* * *

Jim was stalling. Hoping that Spock heard at least some part of this conversation to know to come help her.

"I want you to look at me the same way! I want you to love me! I can make you happy! Why won't you love me?" He took a step forward towards Jim. Jim didn't like the dark gleam in his eyes and took a step backward.

"Charlie! You can't force someone to fall in love with you!"

"Oh, but I can! I can do anything!"

Charlie made a move to grab her but Jim was too fast for him and moved out of the way in time. Charlie lunched toward her again but she slapped him before he could touch her. Charlie's face quickly contorted into one of pure anger and he slapped her across the face and threw her down on the floor.

Spock ran inside the room and Dr. McCoy arrived seconds later. They saw Charlie standing in the middle of the room and followed his gaze to the floor where the Captain was attempting to sit up. A red bruise already forming on her face.

"I am sorry! I didn't mean to! But you shouldn't have done that. That wasn't very nice." Charlie said to Jim as she glared up at him.

Then a loud sound escaped from Spock's lips that caused everyone's attention to shift to him. Jim would have forgotten the situation she was in if it wasn't for the stinging feeling on her face. Had Spock just  _growled_?

"STOP LOOKING AT HIM! YOU ARE MINE!" Charlie yelled at Jim.

"The Captain does not belong to you!" Spock practically spat out the words, not even bothering to contain his emotions anymore. "You will not go near her!"

Charlie actually laughed at the Vulcan's threat. "I can make Mr. Ears disappear you know!" Charlie said as he turned to Jim. "Then you will have to love me!" Charlie looked in Spock's direction and his eyeballs shifted to the back of his head. Jim knew what was about to happen and she would not allow it to occur.

"Charlie, wait!" Jim was briefly able to distract Charlie, but it was enough. All the focus he had been placing on the Vulcan only moments earlier, shifted to Jim.

McCoy could only watch as Jim slowly became transparent while Spock made a move to reach for her. Jim reached up toward the Vulcan, the fear evident on her features. But it was too late, Spock could not grab her. The Vulcan knelt there, trying to grab at where the Captain's body should be. But he was only reaching for air and in a matter of seconds she disappeared completely.

 


	8. Headaches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References to TOS episode Charlie X

Spock was on Charlie in less than a second. His hands wrapped around his throat. All sense of the Vulcan's control seemed to have vanished. His usually brown eyes had gone completely black.

"Bring. Jim. Back." Spock spat out the words and his fingers continued to close around Charlie's neck.

"Spock! Are you insane? Let go of him! Killing him won't solve anything!"

"I..." Charlie wasn't able to speak. Spock's hold on him was too strong.

"Dammit Spock! Let go of his throat!"

But Spock was not listening to the Doctor. His hold on Charlie's throat only seemed to strengthen as he growled, "You will pay for what you have done!"

"Spock!" McCoy was at a loss, he had never seen Spock so determined and completely out of control since the Khan incident.

 _Wait, that's it!_  The Doctor figured it was worth a try, before Spock did something he would regret.

"Spock! We need him to bring Jim back!"

And sure enough Spock stopped. He turned to look at the Doctor, his eyes were still as black as before. But something in them had changed. His hands let go of Charlie's throat. McCoy watched as the teenager dropped to the floor, clutching his neck and coughing.

Spock stared at the spot where Jim had been only moments before. His eyes seemed to drop slightly. Sadness quickly replaced the anger in the Vulcan's face. McCoy couldn't help but feel sorry for Spock. He clearly cared for Jim.

Out of the corner of his eye, McCoy saw Charlie sit up and glare at Spock.

"Spock!"

Without even flinching Spock turned around and nerve pinched Charlie. Charlie dropped down to the floor with a loud thud in an instant.

Spock stared at the boy's limp body before pulling his communicator off his belt.

"Lieutenant Uhura, please send a security detail to the Captain's quarters."

"Spock? Is everything alright?"

"No. It is not. I shall explain once we head up to the bridge."

Spock put his communicator back on his belt and remained completely silent until the security detail arrived.

"Please escort Mr. Evans to the brig."

"Yes, Commander." One of the men answered Spock as the picked up Charlie's limp body.

Spock turned to face the Doctor. "I must go to the bridge." He said with a stoic expression that to the untrained eye looked like the one he usually wore.

The Vulcan turned and practically ran from the room.

"Spock!"

McCoy ran to catch up to the Vulcan and just barely made it into the turbolift. The Vulcan was clearly trying to maintain his stoic expression, but McCoy could see that the Vulcan's control was wavering.

"Spock. I want to get Jim back as much as you do. But you need to get yourself together!"

"I find it difficult to think logically at this time, Doctor" Spock replied without turning. Choosing instead to stare intently at the turbolift doors.

"Dammit Spock! You have to at least appear in control! You are in command now!"

The space in the turbolift seemed to shrink as the Doctor's words sunk in. Spock shifted uncomfortably. The Doctor wondered if he had overstepped his boundaries with the Vulcan when Spock ended the silence.

"Thank you, Doctor."

"For what?"

"For not allowing me to lose control in the Captain's quarters."

"Yeah well... I don't think Jim would have wanted his boyfriend to become a murderer because of him."

Normally Spock would have protested against the Doctor's wording, but he did not have it in him to do so. All he wanted was to get Jim back.

McCoy observed the Vulcan. His face looked grim, but it was much better than before.

'At least now he doesn't look like he is going to kill everyone on the spot', thought McCoy.

The doors of the turbolift opened and the two men stepped out into the bridge.

"Commander, where is the Captain?" Sulu asked as soon as he caught sight of them.

McCoy winced involuntarily. Thankfully Spock was able to respond without appearing emotionally compromised.

"The Captain...is missing. Mr. Evan's is in possession of telekinetic powers and has used those powers to make the Captain to disappear. We have no way of knowing where he is or what has happened to him."

The was a collective intake of breath on the bridge as everyone looked from Spock to the Captain's chair.

Uhura was the first to recover and she rose from her chair. "Commander… what is our course of action?"

"We must notify Starfleet of what has happened. Mr. Evans shall remain in the brig until we can fully understand what he is capable of doing. Dr. McCoy, I will ask you to keep Mr. Evan's sedated until we can find a way to prohibit him from using his abilities."

Spock walked toward the Captain's chair but made no move to sit down. Instead, he merely stared at it with solemn eyes.

The silence was yet again broken by Uhura. "Commander Spock. We are being hailed."

"On screen."

A man appeared on the screen. At least he had the face of a man but his features were green and he did not appear to have a solid form.

"This is acting Captain Spock of the Starship Enterprise. To whom am I speaking to?"

"I have taken my form centuries ago. So that I may communicate with you. We did not realize until too late that the boy had gone. We are saddened that his escape has caused so much trouble for you and the other ship."

McCoy turned to look at Spock but Spock was staring intently at the screen. The entire bridge was completely silent except for the sounds of the equipment. The figured continued speaking.

"We shall remedy all of the damage Charlie has caused you and your crew. Everything shall be as it was."

At that moment McCoy's communicator went off. McCoy reached for his belt, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"McCoy here."

"Doctor!" Chapel's relieved voice filed the bridge. "The patients are back to normal! They are all fine, Doctor! It's as if nothing ever happened to them."

Shortly after Chapel finished speaking, Jim appeared on the floor in front of them.

"Great Chapel. I'll be down there soon." He said distractedly as he shut off his communicator.

McCoy would have loved to say that Jim looked exactly how she had when she disappeared...but she didn't. Her hair was disheveled, her clothes were torn and her face and body were covered with bruises and scratches. The poor girl looked absolutely terrified when she appeared.

Spock was by her side within seconds of her reappearance. The confusion was apparent on Jim's face. She stared at her hands and avoided looking directly at anyone. Spock kneeled down, Jim flinched when the Vulcan extended an arm toward her.

"Jim." the surprise and even a hint of sadness were noticeable in Spock's voice.

Jim stared up at him, analyzing the Vulcan. Until finally after a few seconds she opened her mouth and tried to speak. "Sp-. Sp-p-ock." Her voice was very raspy.

"Yes Jim. I am here."

McCoy rushed over and ran his tricorder over her. She pushed the tricorder away.

"Dammit Jim! I am trying to help you!"

Jim let out a frustrated moan. "M'Fine Bones."

"The hell you are!" McCoy took out a hypo and shot her in the neck before she even had time to protest.

Jim let out a groan and placed her hand over her neck. " -the hell Bones!?"

"This will hydrate you for now. But we need to get you down to sickbay."

Jim mumbled something under her breath that the Doctor couldn't make out.

"Yes Captain. I believe it _is_  necessary." Spock raised his eyebrows at Jim.

'Damn Vulcan hearing.' McCoy thought to himself.

Spock reached out to Jim again, and upon seeing that she did not flinch. Spock placed his hand over hers. Jim did not return the gesture but she didn't shy away from it either.

Much to the Doctor's surprise, Spock moved closer and wrapped his arm around her in an attempt to comfort her. She stiffened for a brief moment but then accepted his advance and proceeded to clutch his shirt and place her head on his shoulder.

The doors of the turbolift opened and Charlie stepped on the bridge with four security guards closely behind him. He froze at the sight of the Thasian on the monitor.

"No! Please! Don't send me back! I can't go back with them! I can't live with them anymore! They don't feel! I can't even touch them!"

The entire bridge remained silent. Dr. McCoy looked around the room. Most of the crew members were looking away, feeling guilty for what they were doing, rather, what they weren't doing.

McCoy knew that he sure as hell wasn't going to speak up. That hormonal teenager had caused enough trouble on their ship.

His mind drifted back to Jim, the Doctor instinctively turned in her direction. She was still being embraced by the Vulcan, and Spock didn't look like he intended to let her go anytime soon. But Jim was no longer leaning against Spock. Her face had completely changed.

"We are locked on to Charlie's coordinates and we are beaming him over to their ship."

"NOOO! PLEASE! PLEASE!"

"Just a minute!"

Everyone turned in surprise to look at Jim who had spoken out. Her voice was still raspy but it had a hard note to it. She gently pulled away from Spock and had a look of determination as she limped over to where Charlie was standing. Spock hovered closely behind her.

"After everything you put us through... you expect us to let you stay?" Jim let out a disbelieving laugh, which due to her state of dehydration, resulted in a coughing fit.

"Captain?" Spock approached Jim, his right hand unconsciously extended towards the Captain. But Jim ignored him and once the coughing died down, she kept on speaking.

"No. I am sorry but no. I have no idea what you did after I disappeared... but you caused harm to several of my crew members. You almost did to Spock what you did to me! If there is one thing I cannot forgive, it is someone messing with my crew."

"I'M SORRY! I'LL BE GOOD! I WONT EVER DO IT AGAIN!"

Jim stared at Charlie long and hard, until finally turning to face the screen.

"Can he be taught to control his powers? So that he can live among humans?"

"We gave him the power so he could live. He will always use it. And he would destroy you and your kind if we allowed him to stay."

"Is there nothing you can do?" Jim patiently asked.

"We offer him life. We will take care of him."

Jim nodded and stepped back toward Spock.

"Come Charles." The man on the screen said before disappearing.

"No! NO! NO!"

Jim turned away from the sight and stood next to Spock as Charlie disappeared from the bridge. Everyone remained silent and stared at the spot where the teenager had been seconds before.

The silence was broken by what sounded like a squeak. The doctor turned toward where the sound had come from and was met with the sight of Spock carrying Jim bridal style.

"I shall escort the Captain to sickbay."

"What? No, Spock! Put me down! I am fine! It's just some minor cuts and bruises."

"The most logical course of action would be to allow Dr. McCoy to treat your injuries."

"PUT ME DOWN! Spock! That's an order!"

The Doctor knew that was his cue to follow them, but he remained standing there. His feet rooted to the floor of the bridge. His brain was still trying to process everything that had happened. Crazy telekinetic teenager, Jim disappearing and reappearing in front of them, Spock actually embracing someone in public and the sight of Spock carrying Jim away.

If this pattern keeps up, he is going to be an alcoholic by the time their five-year mission is over.

* * *

Jim shifted uncomfortably on the biobed as McCoy tried to get some readings on his tricorder.

"Spock… I am fine you don't have to stay…"

"It is my duty to - "

Jim waved him off. "Yeah, yeah. I know. Your  _duty_."

Jim turned away from the Vulcan and looked directly at the Doctor."

"I am so over this Bones! I told you… I am fine. You just like to give me medical exams for no reason."

"Dammit Jim! Hold still! You were gone for less than an hour and yet you say you were gone for almost a day! How the hell is that 'no reason'? And drink some more water, we need to get you hydrated."

Jim grabbed the cup and gulped down some water. She used her torn up shirt to wipe off some of the water the dripped off her mouth.

"A Gorn Bones! A damn Gorn! I wake up in the middle of a desert. I think to myself, things can't get any worse… and then I find a communicator on my belt. But the only person I can communicate with is a male Gorn, who wants to  _kill_  me!"

Jim threw her hands up in the air as if to prove her point.

"Dammit Jim! Sit still! You got a pretty big bump on your head."

"Oh… yeah… that's from when the Gorn tried to throw me off a cliff."

Spock stiffened, something Jim did not fail to notice. As she glanced at the Vulcan the Doctor chose to take advantage of the moment to stab Jim with a hypo.

"Oww! Dammit Bones!"

"Only you Jim! Only you would get yourself into that sort of situation!"

"It was a small cliff anyways, Bones! No big deal!"

"You weren't supposed to end up there in the first place Jim!"

"What? I was supposed to let him hurt Spock? Besides, I didn't know what he was going to do!"

"Liar." The Doctor rolled his eyes as he placed the hypo with the rest of the medical equipment.

"Captain, while I appreciate your noble gesture. I find that I agree with the Doctor in this matter."

"Dammit Spock! Why can't you just say 'thank you' like a normal person? Why do you always have to criticize everything that I do?"

"I am not criticizing you Captain. I am merely suggesting that you have shown a pattern of reckless behavior in the past and you should sway away from such actions."

McCoy shook his head. This was like the Volcano incident all over again.

"Okay. You know what… I am just going to go to my quarters now. Spock, you have the conn. I need some rest."

Jim made to get off the biobed but McCoy stopped him before he was able to jump off.

"Okay kid, what aren't you telling me?"

"What?"

"The Jim Kirk I know would never willingly go rest when he needs to."

 _Shit._ McCoy silently cursed himself. He used the masculine pronoun instead of the feminine one. He expected Jim to call him out on his mistake, or yell at him for calling her a man. Instead Jim just stared at him.

"Look Bones, a Gorn tried to smash my head in with a rock…"

Spock visiably tensed up in front of Jim.

"… and he obviously failed." Jim said as he gave another quick glance in the Vulcan's direction. "But I am exhausted. I just need to spend some time alone… resting." Jim added the last part after seeing the raised eyebrows he got from the Vulcan and the Doctor.

"Jim… did something happen out there, wherever you were?"

Jim looked at the Doctor dead in the eye, "no" she growled.

She got off the biobed before the two men could protest and stormed out of sickbay.

Spock was the first to recover from Jim's sudden emotional outburst. "Doctor, may I make an inquiry?"

The Doctor was still staring at the door of the medbay. "What the hell do you want, Spock?"

"I was merely wondering if you noticed that the Captain prevented the medical examination from being conducted?"

McCoy turned to look at the Vulcan with wide eyes.

"Son of a - "

* * *

Jim stormed into his room. He rushed into the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. After what felt like an eternity of puking his insides out. Jim flushed the toilet and went to the sink to rinse out his mouth. He stared at his reflection. He just stood there staring the pale and weakened looking girl in front of him. He splashed some water on his face and messaged his temples, avoiding the bump on his head.

Yup. He was screwed. He was not going to be able to hide this from Bones for long. How could he even throw up so much? He hadn't eaten for almost a day. He groaned as he shut off the bathroom light and dragged himself back to his room.

The headache had died down. All he could do at this point is to hope that it wouldn't come back again while he was on shift. But he knew it was only a matter of time before he would have to tell Bones.

_'Hey buddy. I am not sure what happened that caused me to remember that I am actually a man! But I do. And now I feel like shit and it's not just because my entire crew lied to me.'_

Oh yeah. That was going to be a great conversation. He mainly didn't want to talk to his friend about this because he was kind of upset with him. How could Bones not tell him what had happened? Instead he had let Jim think he was a girl and run around making eyes at his First Officer.

He began to tear off his clothes in frustration. He caught a glimpse of his body in the mirror as he was talking of his shirt. He groaned as he stared at his breasts and threw the shirt at the mirror. Usually he would have taken the time to admire how good looking he was, even as a woman. But now was not the time. Especially since it was this new body that got him into this problem in the first place.

What the hell was Bones thinking? Thanks to him, he had just made a fool of himself in front of his entire crew.

And what the hell was Spock thinking? Spock didn't  _love_  him. He was only doing his job as First Officer by humoring Jim. 'She' had made 'her' crush on the Vulcan  _painfully_ obvious. Spock was just humoring 'her'.

The Vulcan had probably thought it would be more _logical_  to keep 'her' at ease and avoid any conflict.

Jim opened his dresser and pulled out a gold shirt and black pants.

He shouldn't have let Spock hug him... it was completely unprofessional. But it had felt so nice to be in Spock's arms. The way his body fit so perfectly against Spock's solid frame. The way Spock had rubbed his fingers across his shoulder and the way the Vulcan's intoxicating scent filled his nostrils every time he got close to Spock.

No. NO.  _NO_! He couldn't let himself think like that. He was already confused enough.

He was in the process of putting on a fresh shirt when he felt a fresh wave of of pain wash over him.

Shit.

But Jim forced himself to fight the pain. He refused to go to Bones. He had to find some way to deal with this killer headache. He couldn't risk Bones finding out the truth. Not yet at least... there were still so many things he needed answered. And not to mention he wanted revenge on his friends for not telling him anything.

He fell back on to the bed, and threw a pillow over his head. Not two minutes had passed before he heard his door chime. He promptly ignored it. Spock could deal with anything that needed immediate attention.

It wasn't until he heard his door sliding open that he quickly sat up.

"Dammit Jim! Put on some clothes!"

Jim looked down and realized he had never put on some pants.  _Oh great._

"It's my room Bones. I can be naked if I want to. Besides, you let yourself in!"

Jim got a pair of pants thrown in her face in response.

"Oww! What the fuck Bones?"

"I could ask you the same thing Jim! What the hell do you think you are playing at?"

Jim froze. "Huh?"

The Doctor threw his padd on to the bed so that it landed right next to Jim.

"I was able to get _some_  scans, despite your sabotage efforts." The Doctor glared at Jim as he said this. "Your vitals are all over the place, Jim! Not to mention a significant change in your brain chemistry!"

Jim's face immediately drained of all color.

"What the hell aren't you telling me kid?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." He said, not looking at his friend. His female voice actually someone sounded more innocent when he lied. But his friend clearly wasn't buying it.

"Why wouldn't you let me scan you, Jim?"

The headache was making it harder for him to focus on Bones. Most of his energy was going toward pretending he was okay. He knew he wouldn't be able to pretend much longer.

"Bones, I -"

Jim was unable to finish his sentence due to a sharp pain he felt in his head. Jim tried not to cry out but he let out an involuntary gasp. Then a second wave of pain hit him. Far more painful than the one that had hit him before.

"Shit! What's wrong Jim?" Bones quickly rushed over.

He was clutching his head. Bright lights filled his vision making everything else blurry. He could feel a pair of arms holding him. 'Spock.' He thought to himself. He could faintly make out a voice but he couldn't hear the words he was saying. Jim felt a sharp pain on his neck and soon after all pain and emotion faded. All that was left was darkness.

* * *

Jim opened his eyes and was met by the Doctor flashing a bright light into his eyes. He groaned scrunched up his eyes. "Shit!" He raised his hand to his forehead.

"Damn right Jim!"

"Where am I?" Jim groaned as he tried to sit up, but he was immediately pushed back down by the Doctor.

"Oh no you don't! You're in sickbay. What the hell were you thinking Jim! You had a damn concussion and some internal bleeding. Why the hell would you keep that to your self?"

Jim sighed, "It didn't know. I thought it was just a really bad headache."

"DAMMIT JIM! YOU'RE AN IDIOT!"

"Bones! Calm down! There is no need to yell!"

"CALM DOWN?" An ensign groaned two beds down from Jim's making the Doctor realize where he was. He lowered his voice but his tone remained bitter.

"Jim! Your vitals were way off."

"You told me this already. What else is knew?"

"No, Jim! I am serious!" His friends features slightly softened. "You screamed because of how much pain you were in. You passed out in front of me. We are talking about your life Jim! How can you be so careless?"

"What choice do I have Bones? Do you want me to break down in a corner and cry whenever I get a headache? I can't do that! Until I die or I'm discharged, I am responsible for the lives of everyone in my crew. The crew is my family Bones. I am not going to let them down."

"Jim… Why the hell would you keep this from me? I could have fixed this right away if you would have let me scan you."

"Bones… There is something I have to talk to you about… But you have to promise me you won't tell anyone else!"

"The hell?"

"I am serious Bones!"

"Okay, fine kid! What is it?"

"I know..." Jim swallowed, "I know that you are a hypocrite Bones!"

"Dammit Jim! I don't have time for this!" The doctor raised his hands up in the air and made to walk away from Jim's biobed.

"You have been keeping stuff from me too Bones." Jim said with his usual cocky tone.

"What - ?"

"I know I am really a man, Bones." Jim stated matter of fact. Not exactly how he had wanted this conversation to go, but at this point... he was sure this conversation would have never gone well anyways.

The Doctor remained silent for a long time. Then when he finally spoke, he did not say what Jim expected him to say.

"Well, at least that explains the brain scans. Does this mean your not in love with the hobgoblin anymore?"


	9. Medical Evaluation

Jim lay on his bed looking up at the ceiling. It took him a few moments to completely come to.

How the hell did he get here? He sat up as the memories of what had happened came flooding back to him.

"Are you still in love with the hobgoblin?"

Bones's question had really thrown him off. Out of all the questions he had expected, that wasn't one of them. Who would have thought that Bones actually cared about his love life?

Had Chapel not come in with news about Carol suffering from an allergic reaction in one of the labs, Jim would have been forced to answer that question. But now that he was alone in his room, he couldn't help but ask himself. Was he still in love with Spock? Had he ever been?

He remembered feeling some very strong feelings toward the Vulcan. But that was when his brain was all messed up with false memories. That's what caused him to behave the way he did. Right?

But he couldn't deny, he had felt comfortable being comforted by Spock on the bridge.

He groaned as he brought his hands to his face. His cheeks were warmer than usual. Great.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when his communicator rang. He searched for the source of the sound and found it on the floor under his bed. Weird.

"Kirk here."

"Captain." Jim tried to ignore the way his stomach did a flip at the sound of Spock's voice. Just a left over reaction from the last few days, he told himself.

"Yes Mr. Spock, what is it?"

"Doctor McCoy has been attempting to contact you. He wished for me to remind you of your medical evaluation at Starfleet headquarters tomorrow morning."

Jim rubbed his eyes tiredly. He vaguely remembered Bones telling him something about that.

"Okay, thanks Spock. Tell Bones I was sleeping." Probably as a result from one of his hypos, Jim thought to himself.

"Very well Captain."

Once he terminated communication with Spock, Jim attempted to go back to sleep but it was no use. He had a lot to think about.

One, he may or may not be in love with his straight first officer.

Two, this "love" may just be the result of some strange alien voodoo.

Three, he was Jim Kirk, he sure as hell wasn't going to let an opportunity like this pass him by. Hell if he was going to be stuck in a woman's body, he might as well have some fun.

The next morning Jim found the one command gold dress that Rand hadn't thrown out. He might as well look hot for his medical evaluation. If anyone thought about making fun of him, he would stop them dead in their tracks with this dress.

* * *

"You can put your arms down now Mr. Kirk." Jim lowered his arms as the Doctor looked away from him while she typed something on her padd.

"Everything looks good Mr. Kirk. Your body seems to be functioning appropriately despite the recent change it went through."

"Uh… well that's good to hear." Jim said as he ran his hand through his hair, momentarily forgetting that it was longer than he was used to.

"Have you had your first menstruation yet?"

Jim coughed him surprise. Well the Doctor sure didn't dance around topics.

"Umm… no? I mean, should I have? Wait, can I even… you know?"

"I am sure your doctor already told you that your internal organs were also changed. You have ovaries now Mr. Kirk. This also brings me to another important point."

The Doctor put down her padd and looked directly at Jim.

"You must be very careful now Mr. Kirk. You can become pregnant, so it is vital that you use protection and lower your sexual escapades."

"Excuse me?!"

"Frequent sexual encounters only raise the risk of becoming pregnant."

"Yeah thanks I got that. But… I am not into guys!"

"I meant no offense Captain. I am merely required to inform you of the changes your new body will bring to your lifestyle. You should of course always use protection to prevent the spread of STIs."

Lifestyle. His lifestyle. Oh right, because he was a slut. Apparently no one thought he could keep it in his pants. Sure he occasionally liked to get some action during shore leave but he would never sleep with any of his subordinates.

"The light might hurt your eyes but please try to refrain from blinking."

Jim was brought out of his thoughts and it took him a few seconds to register what the doctor had said to him. He nodded as the Doctor scanned his head.

After what felt like an eternity of scans, the doctor finally looked up from her padd to give him the final verdict.

"Well Captain. It seems that you are healthy enough to remain in command. Whatever caused your change of sex has clearly not affected you in a physical way. Though I must say, it is strange."

"Uh, what is?"

"How well this change was done. The surgery has been around for centuries but there have always been certain traces of it. This, left, well nothing. Captain, even the pitch of your voice was changed."

"Yeah… pretty weird huh?"

"That is a rough way to put it but yes."

"So, uh… I don't want to be rude or anything but are we done? Can I go back to my ship now?"

"Yes of course. I shall send your test results over to your CMO. I recommend constant check ups to assure you are doing well."

"Oh okay. Great. Thanks."

"Mr. Kirk, may I ask you something?"

Kirk had been trying to get off the biobed but the doctors question caused him to stop. "Yeah, sure."

"I couldn't help but notice that you did not ask a question that most people in your situation would ask."

"And what question would that be?" Jim asked, genuinely curious.

"You did not ask if we could reverse this process."

Shit! She's right! How had that not even occurred to him?!

"Oh. Right. Umm.. Can you?"

"No, I am afraid we can't. We could give you the equivalent of a sex change operation. But we would prefer to see if this is a temporary situation or if there is an alternate way of reversing it."

"Not meaning to be rude, again, but why even bring it up if you can't do anything about it?"

The doctor turned off her padd and placed it on the table. She took a deep breath and turned to face him once more.

"Captain Kirk, you chose to wear a dress to this checkup. Why is that?"

"Isn't this the standard Starfleet uniform for women?" Jim asked innocently.

"Yes it is Captain. But-"

"Then I don't see the problem!"

"Captain, all I am trying to say is that you seem to be adjusting to this new body quite well. You are wearing makeup, which was properly applied. In the short period you were here your groomed your hair on multiple occasions. You sat up right with your legs crossed. These simple mannerisms are more commonly seen in women's body language than in men's. Given the short amount of time you have been a female…"

"Doctor, if you have something to say, please say it."

"Captain, have you noticed any changes in your thoughts or actions?"

You mean besides having feelings for my Vulcan first officer?

"No. None." Jim said with a serious face.

The doctor sighed. "Alright, Captain. I am clearing you for duty but should anything out of the ordinary arises please do not hesitate to contact me. Also, I am going to request you see your ships psychologist."

"What? Why? I am not going crazy." Jim couldn't help but notice that the last part was directed more toward himself than the doctor.

"I never suggested you were captain. But this is a very big change for you. There have been instances where patients who undergo surgery to alter their personal appearance report a change in personality."

Jim hesitated, a small part of him knew he needed to talk about what he was going through psychologically. But the other part didn't want anyone to know.

"But I-"

"Once again Captain, this is only as a precaution. It will be completely confidential and no one has to know you are attending these sessions."

Jim opened his mouth to argue once more but the Doctor raised her hand to stop him.

"I have already sent Dr. Noel your case file. She will be expecting you tomorrow at 1800 hours. You are free to go now Mr. Kirk."

"Great." Jim said with a lack of enthusiasm as he got of the biobed. Clearly there was no arguing with the doctor. Man she may look west and innocent but she was just as bad as Bones was!

"Thanks." Jim forced himself to say as he stood at the door.

"Have a nice Mr. Kirk." The doctor replied without looking away from her padd.

Dr. Johnson waited until Kirk had left to send her final report.


	10. Come Here Often?

As soon as Jim had left the headquarters he had figured since he was on earth, he might as well enjoy himself. So he decided to head over to one of his favorite clubs from his academy days. It was much more noisier than he remembered it but he just took a seat on one of the bar stools hoping to get drunk in peace.

Which is how he ended up in his current predicament.

The music was playing loud over the speakers but Jim could still hear the overconfident cadet. "Hey girl. You're looking fine! What are you doing here all by yourself?"

Jim almost cringed at the guys pathetic attempt to pick him up.

"Not interested." Jim said without glancing in his direction.

"Come on. Let me buy you a drink!" The guy persisted.

"I can buy my own drink thanks." Jim replied while still avoiding the man's gaze. Hoping he would leave him alone.

"Come on. Don't be like that! What's your name?"

Jim rolled his eyes and turned around to look at the man, "Look-" Whatever he was going to say trailed off, the man had short dark hair and brown eyes. Eyes that reminded Jim of-

"I would leave her alone if I were you."

Jim almost sighed in relief when he saw Bones step out from behind the cadet.

"Who the hell are you? Fuck off dude! I saw her first."

Jim rolled his eyes. How did this cadet even get into Starfleet when he couldn't even take a hint?

"Fine!" Bones shrugged and raised his hands in mock surrender, "I just thought I should warn you."

The dark haired cadet let out a snort, "Oh, yeah? Warn me of what? Are you gonna fight me for hitting on your girl?"

"Oh I am not." Bones paused before continuing. "But her Vulcan boyfriend will be happy to fight you if a fight is what you are looking for." Bones said with a smirk.

Both Jim and the cadet wore horrified expressions which only made McCoy even more pleased.

"Fuck! She didn't say she was dating a Vulcan!"

Jim was about to protest but Bones cut him off before he could even get a syllable out.

"Well I just told you! Now stop acting like a damn idiot and leave us the hell alone."

The guy scrambled away from the bar as Bones took the empty seat next to Jim.

"I could have handled him on my own, Bones. You didn't need to step in."

"Really?" Bones raised his eyebrows." It didn't sound that way when I came in."

Jim shrugged as he downed his glass of scotch. "How did you even find me?"

"Wasn't hard to guess where you would run off to. Just figured I would find you before you did anything stupid." McCoy's expression changed to that of amusement as he continued talking. "But imagine my surprise! Finally getting a taste of your own medicine I see. Well I hope you learned a valuable lesson."

Now it was Jim's turn to smirk, "please, my pick up lines are much better than that idiot's."

"Just keep on telling yourself that, kid. How did your medical go?" The doctor asked as Jim ordered another drink, McCoy noticed he leaned forward and gave the bartender a friendly smile.

Jim looked over at him and shrugged at him. "Fine I guess."

"Oh really? Is that why I got a report saying you have to attend mandatory psych evaluations."

Jim gaped at his friend. "Dammit! That was supposed to confidential!"

"I am your damn doctor! With me there is no such thing as confidential!

"There is such a thing a boundaries Bones. Just because you are my Doctor doesn't mean…"

"Remember that time you showed up at my dorm room at 2 in the morning asking to to get a piece of plastic out of your ass? You sure as hell didn't seem to care about boundaries then!"

Jim groaned, "Fine. Fine! You're right!

The bartender came back with a drink. "Here you go doll, from that gentlemen over there."

Jim turned around to see a red haired officer wink at him. Jim gave him a smirk before turning back to Bones who was staring at him with a half horrified half amused expression.

"Look at you, using your looks to get free drinks."

"Are you saying I look good Bones?" Jim teased as he gave the Doctor a wink.

"Hell no!" Jim laughed at his friend's grossed out expression.

Jim was about to down his drink when Bones muttered, "I see what Dr. Johnson was talking about in her report."

This caused Jim to freeze. All the amusement he had felt seconds earlier was long gone.

"What? Do you think I am getting used to being a girl? That I want to be a girl? Cause that's total bullshit!"

"That's not what I said Jim." McCoy responded, wishing he hadn't voiced his thoughts out loud.

"You and that Doctor don't understand! Try having someone else take over your body but it turns out that person is you! So you can't blame someone else for all of the embarrassing things they did! And on top of that you have to deal with all of the left over memories and mannerism!"

"Jim, I am on your side. I can't know what you're going through if you don't tell me. "

Jim stared at his friend for what seemed a long time. Bones stared right back and Jim could see the concerned look in his friends face. Finally Jim gave in with a sigh.

"Bones, promise me you won't take this the wrong way."

"What are you-"

"Just...promise."

"Dammit! Fine I promise!"

Jim stared at his friend for a few seconds before finally speaking. "Sometimes... it feels like I am sharing a body with someone else."

Jim kept looking at Bones and frowned when he failed to say anything in response.

"You think I am crazy don't you?" Jim asked, immediately regretting saying anything.

"No Jim, I don't. I am just trying to understand what you are trying to say."

Jim sighed, "Okay, it's like, I remember everything but I feel like there is this chunk missing! Then there are all those false memories and the feelings associated with them. I feel them in the back of my mind. They aren't going away."

Jim moved his drink around on the countertop, "It's painful Bones. She was so happy. She had a better life than I did. I was awake all of last night because of this. That... and my actions toward Spock when I thought I was a girl."

"You know the hobgoblin seems… a lot more fond of you now."

"Yeah I guess…"

"And can you blame him? All of a sudden you are batting your eyelashes at him. Of course the hobgoblin was going to get his hopes up."

"He doesn't have feelings for me Bones. If anything, he is interested in her. In… this body!"

"Jim, the physical body may look different but in the end it was still you."

"But that is just it Bones! It wasn't me!" Jim paused at the look his friend was giving him, "no, don't look at me like that, it's true."

Jim grabbed his glass and finally downed his drink.

"Jim, as much as idea of you and that hobgoblin together grosses me out. Don't sell yourself short."

Jim didn't respond and McCoy couldn't help notice how Jim seemed to be swaying in his chair as he set his glass back down on the counter.

"Uh, Jim? How many of those have you had tonight?"

"Hmm?" Jim raised his hand to order another one and then turned to look at Bones and shrugged."Hey, don't look at me! I am just the one receiving the drinks here."

"Yeah, from a bunch of guys trying to get in your pants!"

"Hey! They bought me a drink, and I am drinking it! Doesn't mean I owe them anything!" Jim let out a sarcastic laugh, "take's a lot more than a few drinks to get me into bed!"

Bones couldn't help the smirk that appeared on his face. Oh how the tables have turned. Instead of lingering on Jim's sex appeal, McCoy decided to change the subject.

"So when do you think you will be allowed to go back to the planet?"

"Don't know." Jim said as he idly played with the napkin on the counter. "They said that 'while they understand the seriousness of my situation', they can't afford to risk anything right now until they know more about these people." Jim took his last shot of tequila and slammed the glass back down on the counter.

"Besides, how long can it take?"


End file.
